


Hard to Be a God

by LadyKatie512



Series: And Saints Universe [2]
Category: Better Call Saul (TV), Breaking Bad
Genre: Accidental attraction, Alternate POV, American English, And Saints, Canon Compliant, Español | Spanish, Ex Girlfriend Drama, F/M, Gun Violence, Murder, Nacho is catching feelings and doesn't know what to do, Nacho's POV, No Better Call Saul Season 4 Spoilers, No Better Call Saul Season 5 Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating Change, Recreational Drug Use, Should I tag Vince from Slap Chop as a character at this point, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Texting, Underage Drinking, Vaginal Fingering, aka Nacho fingers a stripper in chapter three
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:47:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKatie512/pseuds/LadyKatie512
Summary: Directly linked to And Saints, these are chapters rewritten from Nacho's perspective as well as Nacho-centered scenes we otherwise wouldn't see with Jade's POV in the main story. Everything is interconnected and most of this won't make sense without the context from And Saints.
Relationships: Ignacio "Nacho" Varga/ Ex Girlfriend, Ignacio "Nacho" Varga/Original Character(s), Ignacio "Nacho" Varga/Original Female Character(s)
Series: And Saints Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621567
Comments: 33
Kudos: 54





	1. Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Story Title Credit to Health's song "Hard to Be a God".

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho gets sucked into picking Jade up from a college party she was dealing at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Grimes' song "Oblivion".
> 
> This chapter is about 10 novel pages and, according to Grammarly, will take about 19 minutes to read.
> 
> This chapter (the same as the matching chapter in And Saints) takes place between Season One and Season Two of Better Call Saul. This is your warning for any potential spoilers. I'll let you know about any further spoiler warnings as well as any content warnings per each chapter in the notes preceding each chapter. For example, this first Nacho POV chapter alludes to the same Date Rape/Dubious Consent I gave Chapter five of And Saints but it's nowhere near as in-your-face.
> 
> As always, any Spanish used in the chapters will be translated in the notes after the chapter.
> 
> So this is the twin chapter to Chapter Five, "Oblivion", from And Saints, told from Nacho's perspective. If you haven't read that story, at least up to chapter five, then this really won't make sense. I guess you can still read it if that's your thing though, I won't stop you 😊

_Ding!_

He wasn’t even sure if he heard his phone go off, or if it was just his subconscious hoping that _she_ was texting him this late at night. If his phone had in fact just gone off, it was more likely to be Carlos or Tuco. Nacho, with his eyes still closed, decided it didn’t matter, he was sleeping. Whoever it was could wait.

Not even thirty seconds later there was another Ding! from his phone and Nacho let out a sigh.

_Ding!_

_Ding!_

“Hijo de puta,” Nacho muttered to himself, rubbing his palms over his face. After, he opened his eyes to his dark bedroom before reaching for his phone. He woke it from its own sleep, reading that he had four new texts. Upon seeing who had text him, he almost laid his phone back down and rolled over.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/4  
nacho  
Text: 2/4  
hey  
Text: 3/4  
nacho  
Text: 4/4  
NACHO

He stared tiredly at the screen of his phone, wondering what had gotten into Jade to text him his own name so many times just past one in the morning. If she really needed his attention wouldn’t she have called? Didn’t she know how phones worked?

He decided not to respond to her. Instead, he exited out of Jade’s texts, before pulling up Carlos.

To: Carlos Villa  
Text: 1/1  
Llamala Jade y mira lo que quiere. Ella me esta enviando mensajes.

He turned the screen off on his phone before laying it face down on his chest and staring up at the dark ceiling of his apartment, willing himself to stay awake long enough for Carlos to respond. It had to have been a good five minutes before his phone went off again, but it was another text. Nacho didn’t check it right away, waiting to see if it was just one (most likely a response from Carlos) or multiple (a response from Jade). When he heard his phone _Ding!_ A second time, he had his answer.

Before checking what Jade was sending him he sat up in bed, rubbing again at his eyes then face, before wondering how long he’d be awake and if it was worth even getting out of bed.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/2  
Come get me  
Text: 2/2  
NOW

Cops. That’s the first place Nacho’s mind when he finally made himself read Jade’s texts. Cops had shown up and she was panicking. Goddamnit, she knew what she was supposed to do, Carlos was her contact not him, why the hell was she texting him? Briefly, Nacho wondered if he should call Carlos himself. He doubted he’d be asleep at this hour, it was early for him. Carlos was supposed to pick Jade up from that party anyway. Instead, figuring he’d best respond to Jade before she completely lost her shit, he text her back.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Why

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
please just come get me

Her response was almost immediately after he sent his short question to her. It had to have been cops, Nacho figured as he swung his legs out of his bed before standing up and stretching. He was awake now, there was no use just laying in bed. He picked his phone up off his mattress before rubbing at the back of his neck and walking to the couch in his living room. He didn’t bother with any lights since he knew the place well enough by now, even if he could hardly stand living in the apartment alone. Nacho sat heavily onto the couch in the living room, trying to force those thoughts of her out of his head while he text Jade back.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Carlos is picking you up at 5

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
tell him to come NOW

Again, Jade’s response was near-instant. He thought again about calling Carlos, but he couldn’t send his own man to a party knowing that the cops had shown up. He had to at least figure out what shit Jade was caught up in before he called Carlos.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/2  
Why  
Text: 2/2  
What happened

This time, he didn’t get an immediate response and Nacho sighed inwardly. Carlos still hadn’t responded and Nacho was torn between calling him and calling Jade to figure out what the hell was actually going on. He decided on texting Jade one more time, trying to prompt a response before forcing himself to take any action.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Where are you?

He asked her, expecting some answer like “the kitchen” or “the back yard”. Again she made him wait, and the whole two minutes he waited Nacho was starting to worry. If there were cops and she got picked up he hoped that she knew enough to keep her mouth shut. What she was dealing was his own thing, and if Tuco found out, he’d have a lot more to worry about than some DEA agents on his back.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
marquette & washington

Nacho reread the text a few times, trying to remember the address for the party that she was at, but the street names didn’t sound familiar at all. What the hell was she doing? More importantly, why was she there? Why wasn’t she at the party? Why did she leave?

He gave up, selecting her contact name while thinking how appropriate it was for Jade at that moment, before calling her. To his surprise, she answered before the first ring was over, but he didn’t give her a chance to say anything.

“Marquette and Washington?”

“That’s just—I don’t—I’m there now.” He half expected her to keep talking, but the girl sounded winded and scared. Nacho realized that she had probably bolted from the party when the cops had shown up. That was smart but still annoying.

“What?” he asked her to clarify with a sigh. He should have called Carlos instead. Jade should have called Carlos instead. “What happened to the party?”

“The party? Nothing—Nacho please just come pick me up, pleasepleaseplease!” Jade chanted into her phone and Nacho ran a hand down his face.

“Are there cops?” he asked her, trying to keep calm. Getting angry at her wouldn’t help the situation, he could already tell she was panicking. If he was calm now he could get mad at Carlos later and take it out on him.

“No, Nacho—”

“Answer me, Jade. Did cops show up?” Nacho rose his voice to regain her attention but made sure that he wasn’t flat out yelling at her.

“No. No cops.”

No cops? “What happened? Were you mugged?” Nacho immediately asked, not letting Jade say anything more. That could be even worse. If she was jumped or scared off by some other dealer he’d be fighting a territory war behind Tuco’s back.

“No, I wasn’t. Just please, Nacho, I want to go home…” He had underestimated how frightened Jade was until he heard her sob. Hearing her cry like that, his reaction was immediate. All his annoyance with the situation had vanished. Nacho practically jumped off his couch and made his way back to his bedroom before flipping on the lights.

“Jade?” he asked, figuring she might have pulled the phone away from her ear. “Jade, talk to me, okay? What’s happening—?”

“Please, Nacho, I’m gonna get lost if I try to walk home,” she cut him off, “Come get me.”

He had already planned on going to pick her up but still took a moment to shrug a shirt on before answering her. He wouldn’t let himself sound as nervous as she made him feel or as eager as he actually was to go get her. “Okay,” he started, hearing her sigh in relief. “I’ll pick you up, but I need to find you. What way did you walk?”

“I don’t know… I—I walked, I took random streets,” Jade admitted. She was moving again, Nacho could hear her walking.

“Just north of that house should have been Lomas. Did you cross that street?” Nacho probed, trying to get a coherent and helpful response from her as he dressed.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m still in the neighborhood,” she answered him.

“Okay, walk north, and text me the first major crossroads you reach,” Nacho instructed her, but Jade was silent for a moment. Did she even know what that meant? Did she know what direction north was? Before he could clarify with her, she spoke up.

“Okay, thank you,” Jade told him softly as Nacho left his bedroom, leaving the light on as he made for the bar counter to grab his van keys.

“I’m leaving now. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he told her, and with another quiet “thanks” they hung up. He locked his apartment door before briskly making his way down the flight of stairs and towards the parking lot of the complex where he had parked his van.

He didn’t have much of an idea where Jade was and was hoping she hadn’t gotten far before he called her, so he made for the direction of the university campus and the house she had been left at.

Nacho was starting to feel his nerves get the better of him the closer he got to the house without any word from Jade. He was nearly a mile from the house before he finally received a text. He pulled to the side of the road, deciding to wait and see exactly where she was before driving all over looking for her. When he checked the message, however, Nacho found that it was Carlos that had finally responded.

From: Carlos Villa  
Text: 1/1  
Que pasa con ella

Nacho’s jaw clenched, annoyed at him now instead of Jade. That’s exactly what he was supposed to find out, now Nacho was dealing with her. When he was responding to Carlos, Jade finally text him back, and he shortened his response to Carlos to just two words.

To: Carlos Villa  
Text: 1/1  
Never mind

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
washington and central

“Hijo de puta,” he muttered to himself before replying to Jade, realizing that she had no idea which way north was like he had assumed. She had walked south instead.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Whats around you?

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
chinese restaurant bar bank

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/2  
Go to the bank  
Text: 2/2  
5 minutes

Nacho pulled away from the curb, checking the street before making a U-turn and heading towards the intersection Jade was at. He vaguely remembered a bank on the corner and figured that’d be a better place for her to wait instead of outside a bar or closed Chinese restaurant.

Five minutes later, as he neared the intersection and the bank on the corner, he slowed down before spotting Jade. She was sitting alone on the curb in front of the walk-up ATM, the only spot near the building still well lit. Instead of pulling into the parking lot and having his van get caught by several cameras, he pulled to the curb on the empty road and waited. A moment passed and Nacho’s eyebrows furrowed as Jade just sat there staring at his van. He didn’t know what she was doing, did she expect him to get out and walk over to her? He thought for a second that she maybe didn’t recognize the van before realizing that it’d be hard for her not to recognize it.

As he was wondering if he should honk at her, Jade suddenly stood up from the curb. Before she was fully standing, she was already running over to the passenger door of his van. He watched her silently with a cocked eyebrow as she threw herself into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut behind her before quickly pulling the seatbelt over herself and buckling in. After, she looked over at him, her face falling into panic when she realized he wasn’t making any sort of move to drive away. He was convinced there were cops now, he’d never seen a street dealer so scared without there being cops involved.

“Nacho, please go,” she panted at him, and Nacho looked over her appearance. Her long hair was a mess and she had a few dried blades of grass on her clothes. It was obvious she had been drinking, he could smell cheap booze on her, but that wasn’t surprising to him. He had expected her to get bored and drink, it was a party and she was a teenager.

“There's no cops?” he asked her, half turned in his seat to face her. He watched her crystal blue eyes, wide and frightened, dart between him, the windshield, and the passenger window of his van before she tried answering.

“There’s no cops—”

“Look at me and tell me there’s no cops,” he stopped her with that same assertive voice he had used over the phone. Immediately her eyes snapped back to him and he took in that same frightened expression, with glassy eyes, messy hair, flushed cheeks, and what didn’t seem to fit; swollen lips.

Jade took a deep breath in, almost like she was preparing to dive underwater, before answering him, keeping their eyes locked. “There’s no cops.” Despite her gesture, her eyes began filling with tears and her voice shook. Nacho wondered if she was lying to him but then realized that she looked too frightened to even try. Despite how vivacious she usually was around him, Nacho knew there was still a deep-seated fear of him from back when they met at the power plant. He saw that same fear start to surface as he stared at her, remembering the expression from when he told her and her friends to get lost.

“There’s no cops, I left the party on my own,” she added, her voice breaking towards the end. Fine, Nacho thought, there weren't any cops after her, but why the hell was she so afraid? Why were her lips swollen? Why was there grass on her clothes?

“Did someone threaten you or steal the pills or cash?” he tried, keeping his serious tone.

“N—no, I have it all still,” she quickly admitted, further confusing Nacho when he decided she was still being truthful.

“Then what happened?” he stressed and Jade finally broke eye contact with him.

Nacho watched her as she sat forward in his passenger seat, squeezing her eyes shut and balling her hands into fists in her lap. She was truly freaking out, and he was surprised at how well she was holding together so far. “I just want to go home, please,” she squeaked, keeping her eyes shut and her hands in fists.

“Okay,” he gave in, pulling his van away from the curb. Right now he couldn’t find it in him to tell her to get her shit together.

He stayed silent, and so did Jade as he made his way towards where she lived, but her refusing to tell him what had happened was beginning to quickly eat away at him. He needed to know what he was dealing with so he could do everything possible to keep Tuco blind to his dealings behind his back. After ten minutes, Nacho realized he wouldn’t be able to let this drop and hoped Jade had calmed down enough to actually talk to him.

Nacho pulled off the road they were driving down and into the parking lot of a deserted park, glancing at Jade to see her confusion before he killed the van’s engine.

“What are we doing?” she asked him, looking around the dark park before turning her eyes to him.

“Tell me what happened,” he asked of her. He pulled the keys out of the ignition for emphasis, letting her know that he wasn’t taking her any further until she explained exactly what the hell was going on and why she was so afraid.

“There weren’t any cops, Nacho, I promise—”

“I’m not asking about cops,” he stopped her to clarify. He had purposely tried losing his serious tone with her, figuring she’d relax more if she thought he wasn’t going to get mad at her. “I’m asking you to tell me what has you so scared,” he added after a moment, though Jade wouldn’t even look at him now. He almost didn’t understand how she could be so frustrating and made sure to keep his patience in check especially with what she said next.

“I’m not scared,” Jade started but lost all conviction one word into her sentence. Instead of calling her out, Nacho decided to wait. “I just… It was a really shitty party, okay?” Jade was looking everywhere but at Nacho, and he watched as she pulled at the seatbelt over her chest. He noticed then, just how quickly she was breathing. He was afraid she might have a panic attack and decided to remain quiet. “I just didn’t wanna be there anymore,” Jade continued, closing her eyes like she was trying to calm down.

He wondered if he should flat out tell her he wouldn’t be upset at her for anything, but what if she had actually done something stupid? Then again, if she had, why call him? “There’s a lot more to this that you don’t understand. If someone scared you off or jumped you,” he tried to explain to her, but Jade shook her head quickly. “I need to know what happened,” he pressed, but Jade kept her eyes shut. Despite that, tears were still slowly streaming down her flushed cheeks.

“I—” Jade started, and for half a second Nacho finally thought she was going to explain herself. Instead, Jade opened her eyes and frantically fumbled with her seatbelt, before blindly searching for the door’s lock and handle so she could get out of his van.

“I can’t breathe,” she gasped as she slipped out of the passenger seat, letting the door fall closed on its own.

“Hey,” Nacho was quick to jump out of his seat as well, to make sure she wasn’t faking and trying to run off on him. He moved around the front of the van to where Jade was leaning against the passenger side, before staring at her again. Maybe this wasn’t panic? Had he misread her being wasted as panic? She looked like she could barely stand up and was using the side of his van for support.

“I’m sorry,” she wasn’t looking at him again, instead she was watching the empty fields of the park. Her arms were wrapped around her chest like she was cold, but Nacho could see a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead through her blonde hair.

“Jade, what is going on—?” he tried, watching her gasp for breath. He had a feeling she had taken something, even before she spoke up, stopping him.

“There was this chick… in her cup… this guy had… a baggie… and I spilled it…”

“What?” her words hit him harder than he thought they would. Her blue eyes finally met his again and he recognized that same fear in them, but this time he knew he was not the cause. As always, his mind worked faster than his mouth, and before questioning her, he reached forward to place his hands on her shoulders to keep Jade steady as she started slipping sideways.

What she had just admitted to him if he understood (and he couldn’t think of any other interpretation between the words “chick”, “cup”, “guy”, and “baggie”) the implications were massive. “Did you take something? What did you take?” he asked her sternly. Nacho’s grip tightened on her shoulders as Jade nearly lost her balance to shake her head “no”. Even if she didn’t intentionally take something, Nacho still had a gut feeling something had happened to her. She couldn’t stand up, she couldn’t breathe, and her pupils were blown wide, enveloping her light blue irises in black. Then again, she was panicking, drunk, and it was dark. “Do I need to take you to a hospital?”

In response to his questions, Jade reached up to grab ahold of his wrist with her right hand, and he noticed how weak of a grip she had. His instincts told him that she needed to go to a hospital and his rationale told him that she was fine and just drunk. What Jade did next didn’t help either side of his internal argument. She took a deep breath in like she was going to try and tell him herself that she was overreacting, but the first syllable that left her swollen lips was immediately turned into a sob.

“Hey,” he tried getting her attention back, but she had broken and was openly crying in front of him. Jade still had her right hand on his wrist and her left was clamped over her mouth. “Jade?” he asked a long moment later, feeling awkward just standing there with her crying like she was. No amount of trying to snap her out of it was going to help, Nacho realized, so he slid into the next best thing: compassion. Slowly, he pulled her forward, away from the side of his van and into his chest. She surprised him when she accepted the gesture easily and let go of his wrist to throw her arms tightly around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” she told him again between sobs and Nacho felt her hands clench in the material of his shirt. He tried not to sigh as he wondered how the hell he let this happen. With any other street dealer, he would have rather told them to get a grip or man up, but with Jade, his first reaction was to fucking hug her. He almost couldn’t remember the last person he had actually hugged like this. Was it his father? Carmen—?

 _Don’t think about Carmen_. The thought crossed his mind quickly and he tried desperately to bring his thoughts away from her and onto the girl currently in his arms.

“Just breathe and talk to me, okay?” Nacho spoke quietly, staring at the side of his van while holding Jade together in his arms like she was close to breaking into pieces. This wasn’t his forte, comforting crying people, but he at least knew how to be patient. Nacho figured it was paying off when Jade’s hands unclenched from the back of his shirt. After another long moment, she had stopped crying altogether and he wasn’t sure what to do next. He figured instead of pushing her away, he could at least try to get her to talk to him like this. Before he could say anything, however, Jade spoke up herself.

“I saw some guy slip something into this chick’s drink,” she explained to him again, before she quietly cleared her throat. She still had her head resting on his shoulder and her arms around his back, so Nacho made no move to step away. Instead, he thought about her words and tried to put his mind at ease. Maybe she hadn’t been slipped anything. By now she’d be about as coherent as a lamp if she had been slipped something.

He kept quiet and allowed Jade to step away from him, but Nacho made sure to keep his hands on her shoulders, both to keep her standing as well as keep her from trying to leave. “And I, like,” she almost looked embarrassed that she had broken down like that, so Nacho tried not to look judgmental. “I don’t know. I panicked and spilled it all over her like it was an accident,” she continued, rubbing at her eyes and wiping off her damp cheeks. “And she was pissed, right? And she rushed off to the bathroom or whatever, but the guy, Jesus Christ, Nacho, the guy was fucking insane about it.”

“That was stupid,” Nacho couldn’t stop himself after hearing her half-explanation of what had happened. His hands left her shoulders so he could take a step back. Immediately, Jade leaned her back against his van again.

“Stupid?” she asked, her hands moving to her hips. There it was, her combativeness. Despite the situation, Nacho almost smiled at her. “What else was I supposed to do? I don’t know what he gave her, I didn’t know what he was gonna do,” Jade answered.

“You shouldn’t have interfered,” Nacho shrugged, figuring she had no proof. Did she even see what she said she had? Regardless, Jade looked immediately mad that he had even said that, so he crossed his arms playing into her annoyance. “And he knew you knew?”

“I asked him what he put in— What do you mean I shouldn’t have interfered? I should’ve just minded my own business and let some chick get date raped, is what you’re saying?” Jade’s voice rose as she grew suddenly more angry with Nacho. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“And your way of fixing it was putting yourself in her situation?” Nacho couldn’t stop himself. As easy as it was to talk to Jade, he found it easier to argue with her. That, coupled with the fact that she had done this to herself, made it easy to forget himself momentarily. Only a second later he reminded himself that whatever had actually happened, it was more important that he figured out what Jade might be on, or if she was only drunk. “What did you take?”

“What?” Jade asked, suddenly defensive, and he wondered if she had taken one of his OxyContin pills she was supposed to be selling. There went his easy income.

“What did you take?” he clarified, not letting himself be disappointed. Now wasn’t the time for that. “Did you just drink? Did the creep give you anything? Did anyone else give you an open drink?” With all his questions, Jade’s anger seemed to fade into confusion.

“I—I just had— I didn’t—”

“Look at me,” he stepped back towards her.

“I am?” she asked and he reached out to her face, holding her there with a palm on either of her cheeks, staring at her eyes again, trying to figure out if it was just that dark out. Jade, despite their brief argument, allowed him to tilt her head slightly to face the nearby streetlights but he saw no change. It probably just wasn’t enough light, he’d have to check somewhere else. At least he knew she wasn’t on Oxy.

“What?” she asked Nacho before his hands fell away from her face and he stepped back again.

“How do you feel?” he tried instead.

“Like… fucking shit?” she said that like it was obvious. It looked pretty obvious, the girl before him was a mess.

“Are you nauseous? Do you have a headache? Can you not stand up?” he motioned to how she was leaning against his van and she stood up, despite still being shaky from her panic attack earlier. Patience, he reminded himself and tried stuffing his annoyance back down.

“I’m fine,” she obviously lied to him. Fine, if she wanted to be like that, whatever.

“Okay. I’ll take you home—” he started, but Jade cut him off halfway through. Despite this, he continued.

“Jesus Christ, thank you!”

“But if someone slipped you something your parents won’t know why if you start seizing. They won't be watching you if you pass out and choke on vomit.”

“Seriously?” the relief immediately left her face. Nacho watched her as she leaned back against his van with her hands once again on her waist.

“I’d feel better if I could keep an eye on you overnight.” Halfway through his sentence, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly checking the time since he hadn’t thrown on any of his jewelry or his watch in his rush to leave. It was past two in the morning already.

“What, like stake out my house?” Jade asked him and Nacho couldn’t stop from smiling at her when he looked back up, despite the time.

“Like let you crash at my place,” he clarified for Jade and watched her frown before intentionally pulling his mind off her swollen lips. He tried not to think of exactly why that was, or why her hair was disheveled, or why she had grass on her clothes. He had a pretty good idea, but he’d find out exactly why eventually. He didn’t want to deal with that guilt now, he just wanted to make sure Jade was okay.

“Oh, right. Fine, whatever. I don’t care, just get me out of here, okay?” she shrugged and Nacho stepped forward to the van’s passenger door, opening it for her and helping her climb in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hijo de puta.” — Motherfucker.
> 
> Dolor de Cabeza — Headache
> 
> “Llamala Jade y mira lo que quiere. Ella me esta enviando mensajes.” — Call Jade and find out what she wants. She’s blowing me up. (Technically “she’s texting me” but I’m not sure if there's slang for that in Spanish and the boyfriend is asleep)
> 
> Que pasa con ella. — What’s wrong with her?
> 
> So! I know it got kind of repetitive at the end but I liked seeing Nacho's side of things after he picked Jade up and also seeing what he made out of everything Jade told him. Especially with his "WTF am I doing" moment towards the end. Apparently Nacho has a thing for damsels in distress 😂 Another thing; that obligatory "hoping that _she_ was texting him" and the carmen name-drop will have more to do with the next Nacho POV I post, don't worry if that was confusing.
> 
> Also, this wasn't technically beta read. I was too nervous that my boyfriend would tell me that Nacho was out of character to let him read it so I actually read it out loud to him, with my horrible Spanish and all. But hey, he liked it and I feel better about writing Nacho so future chapters _may_ be beta read.
> 
> As always thank you so much for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho drives to Santa Fe for a favor to Jade (and definitely not to see his ex-girlfriend).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Sleigh Bell's song "Crush".
> 
> This chapter is just over 13 novel pages and should take about 24 minutes to read.
> 
> The spoiler warning for Season 1 of Better Call Saul remains in effect. Also, no content warnings for this chapter.
> 
> All Spanish used in this chapter is translated in the notes afterward.
> 
> So this is the twin chapter to Chapter Nine, "Crush", from And Saints, told from Nacho's perspective. Again, If you haven't read that story, at least up to chapter nine, then this really won't make too much sense.

He stopped his van just down the street of his destination, despite preparing himself the entire hour-long drive, as well as that morning and the night previous, and the day before that even. He could see the adobe wall around the house already. The gate for the drive was just a couple dozen yards away. He looked from it and up, towards the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo mountains the neighborhood was encroaching on. He kept going, staring up into the bright, cloudless sky of that late morning, silently telling himself that this would be quick and that Carmen was most likely not home. He told himself that he just had to grin and bear through her brother’s overbearing personality, listen to a story or two while he collected the product, then he could leave. Carmen wouldn’t be home, Al wouldn’t be hard to deal with, and Jade would be happy. Jade with her long hair, bright smile, and sky blue—

Immediately Nacho’s hands left his steering wheel and rubbed at his face. That’s the last thing he needed. He already couldn’t smoke without thinking about Carmen, he didn’t need to be reminded of a pretty, yet infuriating, teenager every time he went outside during the day.

Nacho sighed, telling himself to just do it. Rip the band-aid off quickly and it’d be over and done with before noon. He let his foot fall off the brake, prompting his hands to grip the steering wheel of his van while it slowly began to roll down the road on its own. The gate he was dreading crept into view and he turned into the drive like it was still muscle memory from all those years ago.

Nacho stopped at the speaker box and rolled his window down before pressing and holding the buzzer button for a couple of seconds. After he let his hand fall limp outside his window and avoided looking up at the nearby security camera.

“¿Eres tú, Nacho?” he heard the speaker crackle to life only a few seconds later with the voice of an older woman with a heavy Norteño accent.

“Sí señora Rosa,” Nacho forced a smile, pressing the button again so he could reply. “Necesito ver Alberto,” he added quickly so the maid wouldn’t run off and tell Carmen. If she was even home. Carmen’s not home, he reminded himself, determined to not believe otherwise despite the very real possibility.

“Por supuesto, por supuesto. Entra yo, le de diré a Alberto,” Rosa replied happily while the gate started to slide open. Nacho waited for the gate to fully open before proceeding through the entrance and slowly along the stone-paved drive.

Carmen’s not home, he reminded himself as he passed the front door of the sprawling house. Carmen isn’t home, Nacho reiterated as he parked his van in front of the triple garage next to Rosa’s old Corona. He had redone the interior of that little car half a decade ago for the woman’s fiftieth birthday. The car itself was practically worthless, but it was Carmen’s idea. Carmen isn’t home.

He sat in his van for a moment, collecting himself, before reaching into the grocery bags next to him, digging out the Pop-Tart box he had just bought before leaving Albuquerque, along with several other nonperishables. He carefully eased open the top of the box before dumping the foil packets out and back into the grocery bag. After, empty box in hand, Nacho got out of his van and walked around the front, heading for the front door of the house.

Rosa was already waiting for him at the open front door, waiving him into a hug. “Te ves tan cansado, mijo. ¿Estás comiendo bien? ¿Estás durmiendo?”

I look tired, Nacho thought, because I couldn’t sleep the last two nights thinking about this damn place. “Sí señora Rosa. Estoy bien,” he instead reassured the shorter woman once she had let go of him and allowed him into the house.

“Conseguiré a Alberto por ti. Espera ahí,” she waved him off down the entry hall and towards the large dining room. Nacho subconsciously counted the ten steps it took him to get from the front door to the dining room, trying to forget the times he had made this same trek in the dark several years back to get out to the patio, and then to the guest house.

Carmen isn’t here, Nacho reminded himself as he set the Pop-Tart box on the dining table. He didn’t sit down, however. He didn’t want to look like he had the time to stay and hang around. He had to be quick about this, he didn’t want to be roped into anything more than buying some marijuana.

Nacho could already hear Al. “Nacho, stay and relax a while, it was a long drive up from Albuquerque!” or “Nacho, can’t you stay for dinner, I’ll be making carnitas!” or “Nacho, we’ve got beds to spare! Drive back tomorrow, you had too much to drink!” or “Nacho, why don’t you just move in already. We need a second nanny for the kids!” He snorted at that last thought, not because it was too outlandish but because it was exactly the type of thing Al would say to him.

“Tío Nacho!” he heard, accompanied by the sound of small shoes running across the saltillo tile floor.

“Chingada su madre,” he breathed before forcing a quick and hopefully excited smile. He turned around and was able to crouch down just before a small body collided with his. “Hey, Mia,” he greeted the little girl with a hug.

“Tío Nacho! You came back!” he was amazed at how strong and the kid had gotten over the past year, and at the same time, he felt his heart crack. “I missed you!”

Still making her way down the hall was Mia’s mother, Leticia, and her son Christian clinging to her side. The last time he had seen that kid he was still an infant, barely able to roll over without help. Now he looked like he might be able to walk on his own. Away from the boy with a full head of dark curls, Nacho’s eyes were drawn to Letty’s swollen stomach before meeting her eyes and raising his eyebrow.

“I missed you too, niñita,” Nacho told the little girl when she finally loosened her death grip on him.

“Why did you leave? We never see you anymore! Do you hate us now?” Mia fired off in quick succession, Nacho barely had time to catch and comprehend each word.

“I— um, your Tía and I…” How did you explain a breakup to a five-year-old? “Carmen doesn’t like me so much anymore,” he explained quickly, “She doesn’t want me around now.” Well, it technically was the truth. “Anyway, what happened to your momma? It looks like she ate a cow,” Nacho asked the little girl drawing her attention away from Carmen and prompting her to giggle and cover her mouth, but not before he noticed her missing tooth. Nacho also caught the hard glare Letty gave him from behind Mia.

“Ha-ha,” she deadpanned, “Funny.”

“She’s having another baby!” Mia explained to him, keeping her excitement.

“He knows that, niñita. Tío Nacho is just being an A S S H O L E,” Leticia spelled out as Nacho stood up to greet her as well, quickly kissing her cheek before gently and awkwardly hugging her with both her stomach and Christian in the way.

“We’re spelling things now?” Nacho asked her as he pulled away, and she nodded.

“Oh yes. She repeats everything. Don’t you niñita?” Leticia asked her daughter before passing Christian off to him. Nacho didn’t have a choice at that point, it was either take the kid or drop him.

“Um, yes,” Mia looked unsure and probably just agreed because it was her mother saying it.

Nacho moved back to the dining table, pulling a chair out with his free hand so Letty could sit down. “Let me see your teeth,” Nacho told the little girl with furrowed eyebrows, adjusting Christian on his side before pointing at his own mouth with his free hand. Mia forgot about what her mother had said and quickly opened her mouth wider than necessary, even going as far as to stick a couple of fingers in her mouth and pull her lips aside to show Nacho her missing canine tooth.

“Did you get in a fight?” he asked the girl seriously, managing not to smile at how stupid he sounded. He let Mia smile and laugh at him instead.

“No, it’s my baby tooth. I lost it at school and my teacher said to bring it home for the tooth fairy and— Oh! Guess what the tooth fairy got me!”

“What’d she get you?” Nacho asked, trying not to sound shocked that Mia was in school already.

“She got me twenty dollars,” the kid responded, completely astonished.

“Twenty dollars, huh?” he looked from Mia to Letty, giving her a quizzical look.

“Yep. She left my little girl twenty dollars for that tooth,” Leticia nodded slowly, and from her tone, Nacho knew it must have been Al’s doing. Letty and Nacho never had that as kids, they weren’t born into money like Al and Carmen were.

“Wow,” Nacho looked back to Mia. “That’s a good deal. How many more are you planning to lose?” he asked, earning another giggle. “Maybe I’ll knock some of my own teeth out. That’s easy cash.”

“No,” the girl shook her head, her curly ponytail swinging wildly behind her head. “She only takes baby teeth, I asked señora Rosa.”

“There goes my idea for easy money,” Nacho told the girl, before pulling a chair out for himself and sitting down, moving the surprisingly heavy baby on to his lap. “What did you do with the cash?” he asked afterward.

“I’m saving it to buy a pony. It’s gonna be purple and green, and live in the pool, and it’ll fly me to school,” Mia explained like she was listing out features of a car she wanted to buy.

“Sounds expensive. How many teeth you got in there again?” Nacho asked the girl, who quickly hid her mouth from him with her hands.

“Tía Carmen said she’d help me buy one if she could borrow him on the weekends to visit Tío Robbie,” Mia continued, completely oblivious to Nacho’s smile falling off his face. Quickly, he looked to Letty who seemed to realize what her daughter was saying.

“Mija,” she stopped her quickly, “Why don’t you go grab some of those pictures you drew and show Tío Nacho, huh?”

“Okay!” Mia was suddenly excited and turned to run back down the hallway.

“Don’t run!” Letty yelled after the child, who slowed down but didn’t quite stop running. “The fucking kids are going to crack their heads open on this tile one day, I swear. I’ll have to clean their brains out of the goddamn grout,” Letty huffed, before looking back to Nacho’s startled expression. “What?” she asked him.

“The fuck is Tío Robbie?” he asked her since Mia was out of earshot now.

Letty sighed and readjusted herself in the chair. “Carmen’s on again off again. It’s nothing.”

“‘Tío Robbie’ is nothing?” Nacho snapped back, feeling like he had just been shot in the chest. Why had he even come? Why did he let Jade convince him so easily?

“He’s some stupid chilango form Mexico City. He’s nothing,” she tried reconfirming. “Mia calls everyone Tío.”

“Oh, so there’s more than just Robbie, then?” Nacho asked before suddenly realizing he was shaking and remembered there was a baby in his lap. Nacho looked down at the child who had turned his head and was staring at him with wide eyes. He sucked in a deep breath before sighing, telling himself not to care. That part of his life was over, it had been dead for over a year now. Nacho kept his left hand on Christian to keep the child from falling out of his lap while he leaned to his right, elbow on the dining table and his forehead in the palm of his right hand. “Don’t answer that,” he quickly said when Letty made a sound like she was going to keep talking.

“How are you then, Nacho? What’s up with you?” Letty asked him instead and Nacho remained silent for a moment.

“I’m fine. Everything’s great, it’s all great,” he decided to lie but didn’t bother trying to make it sound convincing. “What’s up with you?” he asked after sighing and lifting his head up from his hand. “When’d that happen?” he asked after glancing again to her very obviously pregnant stomach.

“About seven months ago, that bastard,” Letty adjusted herself in the dining chair again. It looked like she couldn’t get comfortable and Nacho wasn’t surprised, she already looked full term. “I had convinced him to get snipped finally, but he kept putting it off. But hey, maybe we’ll name this one after you.”

“Don’t name a kid after me,” Nacho shook his head, “Carmen would flip.”

“All the more reason to do so. We’ll name him after you, and Gonzo, and Tuco, and your fathers, and maybe some uncles, and second cousins,” Letty laughed, “The kid will have thirty names.”

“Fine, just don’t give the kid the first name Ignacio,” Nacho told her seriously.

“Did you just spoil the surprise?” he heard Al’s boisterous voice before realizing that he had entered the large dining room.

“Surprise? Al, he didn’t even know I was pregnant until five minutes ago,” Letty shook her head at him as he walked up, clapping Nacho on the shoulder in greeting.

“Surprise?” Nacho asked, watching Alberto walk to his wife and kiss her quickly. “Don’t name a kid after me,” he stressed.

“This is why we were going to wait until the kid was born to tell you,” Al laughed at him.

So, they planned on naming a kid after him? After his little sister’s ex? What did Carmen say? Does she know? Don’t think about Carmen. Carmen’s not home.

Luckily Al changed the subject before Nacho could dwell on that or the ache in his chest. “Look at that kid though, he barely fits on your lap anymore, huh?”

“Yeah,” Nacho tried to ignore everything he was feeling. “Him and Mia both. Must be getting into that Miracle-Gro shit you use on your plants,” Nacho joked weakly.

“Miracle-Gro is poison, hermano!” Al laughed, “Might as well be selling those rocks you get over the border if I was using that.”

It wasn’t the same thing, it wasn’t even close, Nacho thought, but instead of voicing that opinion, he sighed. “Whatever. Still need to buy it off you.”

“Filling that up?” Al nodded to the empty Pop-Tart box.

“Don’t literally fill it, but yeah,” Nacho nodded. That was the last thing he needed, was to give Jade a near kilo of pot for the stupid party she insisted on going to.

“Let’s go. When’s the last time you were out to the fields? Been on the new four-wheelers yet?” Al nodded towards the patio door, but Nacho was hoping he wouldn’t have to go to the “fields”. It was at least a half-hour trip one way, and Al always had to show him everything.

“Mia had a picture to show me?” Nacho said, looking to Letty before Al plucked Christian off his lap and handed him off to his wife.

“Whatever it is will be here when we get back,” Al waived Nacho along and he stood up before grabbing the empty Pop-Tart box, half defeated. He only had one more card in his hand but felt like an ass saying it.

“I was needing to head back to Albuquerque soon, I can’t stay long,” he explained, wondering if he’d have to add in a lie about his father’s upholstery shop or Tuco needing him.

“We’ll be back quickly. Hasn’t rained much so the trails aren’t too bad. C’mon,” Al waived him along again and Nacho gave one last glance to Letty before following him out the patio door, now fully defeated.

~-----~

“You’d better get to your dad’s shop,” Al patted him on the back as they walked through the backyard of the sprawling home. He ended up having to half-lie about his father needing him that afternoon at the shop, and that he had only come up to Santa Fe as a favor for a friend. “You should drive up some time and stay though. Carmen can’t tell you not to, she’s my guest too,” Al told him as they came upon the patio and Nacho couldn’t help but glance at the guest house where she was staying.

“I don’t know,” Nacho started but Al stopped him.

“Nonsense. She broke up with you, not me and Letty. So what if she won’t like it? Screw her,” Al laughed but Nacho remained quiet. That was exactly the problem. “Bad word choice,” Al realized what he had said as well, “But you understand, right hermano?”

Still quiet, Nacho nodded once.

“Between Tuco and your dad, do you ever get a day off?”

“Not really,” Nacho half-lied again. He technically didn’t get many days away from both the shop and the cartel, but he did have quite a bit of free time.

“Maybe I’ll have to invite Tuco and the boys just to get you back here then, huh?” Al laughed, but that idea was even worse to Nacho than coming up here alone for dinner. Thankfully this time Al didn’t notice his silence as they entered the dining room.

“Tío Nacho?” they were immediately greeted by Mia’s voice, followed by Letty screaming after her.

“Don’t run in the house!”

“I’m back, niñita. I’m sorry,” Nacho told her as she appeared in the hall leading to the dining room.

The girl had several pieces of paper in her hands, as well as colored ink smeared on her hands and fingers. When she neared Nacho and her father in the dining room, she stopped fast, her eyes going wide at the sight of the Pop-Tart box in Nacho’s hand. “Did you bring back Pop-Tarts?” she asked, sounding hopeful.

“We ate them all already,” he quickly lied to the kid before patting his stomach.

“Sorry, mija,” Al added in, “We were too hungry.”

“That’s okay,” she pouted before looking back up at Nacho. “I brought you the pictures,” she handed him the papers, and Nacho set the Pop-Tart box on the dining table again to take them. “Tía Carmen was just helping me with some more so those aren’t finished, she’s still working on them. Those ones are all finished,” Mia explained and Nacho’s brain short-circuited. He looked quickly back to the kid and opened his mouth but couldn’t move his lips or tongue to speak. “You told me she didn’t like you anymore, so I wasn’t going to tell her you were here, but momma already told her, so she knows. Sorry, Tío.”

“Uh-huh,” was all he could manage, looking between Mia, Al, and the papers in his hands. He had completely forgotten what he was going to do or say and didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Wow look at these,” Al half came to his rescue, prompting Nacho to flip through the drawings on the papers. “These are really good.” Nacho couldn’t tell if they were or not, his brain couldn’t make sense of any of the shaky lines or colors let alone allow him to hold the papers without shaking or breathe without sounding like he had just run a mile.

“These are good,” Nacho made himself repeat Al, but involuntarily looked down the hallway towards the front door, his exit. In front of him, standing with her arms crossed and a frown on her face was Carmen. She had her black hair in a lazy ponytail and she was in house clothes (a pair of gray sweats, a red UNM Lobos teeshirt, and sandals). It was a far cry from anything she’d be seen wearing in public, Nacho knew her expensive designer taste well, but this was always his favorite look. He preferred her looking relaxed and comfortable and raw versus immaculately manicured. 

Nacho took in a ragged breath, tearing his eyes from her and looking down again at the drawings, only to find that he was no longer holding them. Albert had taken them and was now kneeling on the floor in front of his daughter.

“Will you come back later?” Mia asked him, catching him off guard. How long had he been staring at Carmen?

“You remember your Tío lives in another city, right niñita?” Alberto asked her, continuing to make up for Nacho’s stupor.

“Yeah,” the little girl pouted, “I remember. So when you go to Albuquerque next can you take me and we can visit?”

“We’ll have to plan it,” Nacho forced out and Mia immediately smiled, the gap of her missing canine tooth catching his eyes again.

“Okay! Do you want one of the drawings so you’ll remember?” she asked him quickly and Nacho nodded. Al handed the pictures back to his daughter. “Here, this is the best one,” she handed one to Nacho.

“It is,” he told her with a nod, though he had absolutely no idea what it was and was briefly terrified that the little girl would ask him.

“Tell your Tío goodbye, mija,” Alberto told her and, mechanically, Nacho knelt down to hug her.

“Bye Tío. Don’t forget we’re coming to see you soon,” she told him, throwing his arms around his neck.

“I won’t niñita,” Nacho reassured her as best as he could while his eyes found Carmen again, waiting in the entry hall as if she were planning out exactly what she wanted to yell at him about once Al and Mia were out of the picture.

When Mia let go of him, Nacho stood up and was quickly hugged by Al. “You drive safe, hermano,” he told Nacho, who still wasn’t used to the two armed bear hugs the man was accustomed to giving.

“I will, and thanks for this,” Nacho picked the Pop-Tart box up from the dining room table.

“Anytime,” Al smiled at him. “C’mon, niñita, let's go find your mama,” he led her off through the kitchen, throwing Carmen a glance before the two of them disappeared.

Nacho stood his ground for a moment, with Carmen also standing hers, and he briefly wondered how over the top it’d be for him to walk back out of the sliding glass doors behind him, cross through the back yard, and hop the wall near the garage.

Instead of that, he took in a deep breath and forced himself forward. He locked his eyes on the front door behind Carmen and kept them there as he walked forward. She would stop him, she’d start yelling at him, grab him and pull him back. Hell, she might even take a swing at him, it wouldn’t be the first time. His heart caught in his throat as he reached her in the hallway, but without a single word exchanged, Carmen let him pass. He was stunned when he reached the front door, twisting the handle to let himself out. That was easier than he thought it’d be, just walking out of the house. It was a relief, like a breath of fresh air once he was actually out of the home and walking across the stone-paved drive towards where he had parked his van.

“Nacho, wait,” he stopped dead, thinking he was wrong to have gotten out of the house so easily. He didn’t turn around, instead, he stared forlornly at his van. He could ignore her and just get into the van and drive off. He could, but he wouldn’t. He breathed out, sighing in defeat, but remained rooted and didn’t turn around to face Carmen. He could hear her sandals slapping the bottoms of her feet as she made her way over.

Maybe she wasn’t angry, maybe she was just trying to stop him from making a quick exit as he had planned. Maybe she actually wanted to talk—

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked as she moved around Nacho, her hands on her waist as she stopped, standing in front of him. She was mad, Nacho realized, he was a fool to think she might not be.

“No one said anything about me not being allowed to come here—”

“I’m saying it,” Carmen stressed, and Nacho couldn’t keep his eyes on her face. Instead, he looked around the property.

“As much as you want it to, the world doesn’t revolve around you, Carmen,” he told her as calm as he could.

“Funny,” she was frowning at him now, something borderline to a scowl, “I could say that same thing about you.”

Nacho wasn’t going to respond to that, it was a baited trap. Instead, he tried stepping around her, but she moved in time with him, keeping him blocked.

“Do you want to tell me why Mia’s thinking I don’t like you?” Carmen switched subjects, realizing Nacho wasn’t taking the bait.

“Do you like me? ‘Cause that’s news to me,” Nacho tried stepping in the other direction, but again Carmen blocked him.

“Explain to me why you’re telling my niece, my niece, that I don’t like you? Why am I the villain in this?”

“How else do you expect me to explain a break up to a five-year-old? You broke up with me, you left—”

“You’re saying that like it’s what I wanted to do—”

“You did want it! You did it!” Nacho threw his hands to his sides, “You can’t stand me!”

“Stop acting like some sort of victim, you know what you did,” Carmen took a step towards him, forcing Nacho to take a step back lest he’d stay put and let her step on his alligator boots. “And you’ve kept doing it like you don’t give a shit about everyone around you.”

“I was in this life before I even knew you existed. You knew exactly what I did when you started dating me,” Nacho told her, reminding himself to keep his voice level.

“Mierda, Nacho!” Carmen didn’t take care to lower her voice like he had, “It’s like you don’t even understand why we broke up!”

“I understand perfectly,” Nacho told her through a tense jaw. He glanced over Carmen’s head at his van, thinking how close he was to escape.

“Then why the fuck are you here? Why are you telling Mia that it’s my fault she doesn’t get to see you anymore?”

“Don’t worry, this won’t be a normal thing,” Nacho told her, finally able to step around Carmen and walk forward. Making it to his van, he opened the passenger door and stuck the Pop-Tart box into one of the grocery bags. After, he lifted a couple of them up and placed Mia’s drawing underneath so it wouldn’t fly away if he had his windows open on the highway. “This was just a favor for a friend,” he explained, hearing Carmen following him.

“What friend?” Carmen was suddenly beside him, her arms still crossed and the frown still on her face. He had a brief notion of telling her about Jade, saying it was a favor for a cute blonde with long legs. Instead, he pulled one of the foil packets of Pop-Tarts out of the grocery bag and turned towards Carmen, handing it to her.

The pair were silent, with Carmen still waiting for some sort of response and Nacho silently insisting on brushing her prying question aside. “This is for Mia,” he added after another moment, and finally Carmen’s arms fell.

“You’re headed back to Albuquerque?” Carmen asked him, accepting the pastries from him. In response, Nacho stepped back and closed the passenger door of his van. “How’s everything down there?” she added when she realized Nacho wasn’t going to verbally respond.

“Business as usual,” he turned his back and started walking around the front of the van towards the driver door.

“We haven’t heard much from the guys besides Carlos. Occasionally Gonzo,” Carmen added, her voice following him. Nacho couldn’t shake her.

“Yeah, Tuco’s got a new habit,” Nacho told her, turning around again and stopping next to the driver's side door.

“That sounds like Tuco,” Carmen agreed, sounding like she was putting forth a true effort to sound more friendly with him. Nacho wasn’t sure exactly what caused the mood swing and it left him on edge. “What about Domingo and Bianca?” she asked, again realizing Nacho was being intentionally short with his responses.

He shrugged at her. “They’re fine.”

“Yeah? Do you even see them?” Carmen crossed her arms again, once more prying at him for more.

“Domingo is selling now. He has his own crew and I see him almost every day. Is that what you want?” he asked her, knowing that Domingo falling into the same lifestyle that drove the two of them apart would only piss her off.

“Let me guess, it was your idea?” Carmen frowned at him again.

“It was mutual.”

“And I bet Bianca’s pissed? That’s another solid relationship down the drain—” Carmen started before Nacho cut her off.

“Is there a point to this?”

“I’m just trying to talk to you,” Carmen shot back quickly.

“Weren’t you just screaming and chasing me out of the house a minute ago?” Nacho smiled out of irritation, motioning towards the entrance of Alberto’s small mansion.

“Whatever,” Carmen sighed, and he half expected her to roll her eyes like a certain someone he knew. Instead, she turned and started back for the house, Pop-Tart packet in hand.

“Carmen,” Nacho called after her, unable to stop himself. As expected, Carmen ignored him, so he added, “I’m sorry.”

With that, she quickly turned around. At first, she looked surprised, before her angry frown fell back onto her face. “Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

“For that. What I said right now,” Nacho told her, sticking his hands into his jean’s pockets.

It took a moment before Carmen sighed. “Well, that’s a start at least. Be safe driving back to Albuquerque.” That was it, she turned around and Nacho felt his shoulders fall, his hands leaving his pockets. Whatever, it didn’t matter. They were long over.

~-----~

He had just pulled off the freeway and was stopped at the first red light in Albuquerque when he figured he’d better at least text Jade instead of driving in the opposite direction of his apartment just to find out she wasn’t home. He pulled out his phone and quickly text her.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Are you home?

The girl was always on her phone or had it in her hand, especially now that he had taken care of that shit stain creeping on her, at the expense of her old phone. Of course, now when he needed her to, she didn’t respond to Nacho. At the next stoplight, he decided he’d have to call her, but just as he highlighted her contact, she replied.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
u said i had the day off :(

Nacho frowned at the road ahead of him, looking up from his phone in his lap as traffic beginning to move again. He waited for the next red light to respond, already starting his journey towards her house. Even if she wasn’t home he could shimmy her window open and put it in her room. Her parents both had nine to fives and her younger siblings never seemed to be a problem and he hadn’t noticed them ever enter her room when he was casing her house.

With that notion, his frown turned into a half-smirk. The thought that he was bending over backward to help this girl when two months ago he couldn’t even trust her was sadly amusing. At the next red light, he text her back.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Do you want your pot or not?

This time she responded before he could even look up from his phone, the light still red in front of him.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/2  
yes please :)  
Text: 2/2  
im home now but i was about to leave

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
You aren’t carrying this. Wait 20 minutes.

The traffic wasn’t bad, so Nacho figured he’d be there within the twenty minutes he gave himself, but it was better to be safe with how volatile Jade could be. He was driving again when Jade responded to him.

From: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
let me know when youre here

He focused on driving instead of texting her back and found himself in Jade’s neighborhood before his own twenty-minute deadline. He pulled up to his usual spot down the street and around the corner from Jade’s house before he threw his van in park, shut the engine off, and sighed deeply.

This was a bad idea; he could feel it in the very pit of his being. Giving a nineteen-year-old that much pot for a party couldn’t end well. Then again, it was just pot. How much harm could it do to her? As long as she wasn’t caught with it, everything should be fine. Keyword: should. Nothing ever seemed that simple with Jade though, Nacho figured as he leaned his head back on his headrest, giving himself a moment to think.

The fact that she was going to another party was nerve-wracking enough for him, even if the last one ended with Jade parading around his apartment the next day wearing his tee-shirt and practically nothing else. It had also ended a relationship and somehow led to her being stalked, Nacho reminded himself as he looked down at his phone.

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
Round the corner like usual

He sent the text before setting his phone back in his lap and rolling his window down. After, he glanced at the grocery bags where the Pop-Tart box was and couldn’t help but briefly think about Carmen where he had left her up in Santa Fe. He never had to worry about her partying too hard or having to pick her up in the middle of the night. She always had guys chasing after her but none as bad or as crazy as this Dylan guy was with Jade. Carmen could handle herself and now, looking back on the near five-year relationship they had, the dependency Nacho seemed to crave from her was almost overwhelming coming from Jade. Even so, her witty sense of humor, congeniality, and bubbly personality seemed to make up for it. That wasn’t even mentioning her smile, long hair, legs for days, or her sky-blue eyes—

Nacho blinked, realizing he was no longer looking at the grocery bags but out his window and up at the sky. “Goddamnit,” Nacho muttered to himself and forced his eyes onto his steering wheel. Immediately he decided he wouldn’t help Jade next time. He shouldn’t have done this for her, he should have stuck with the hard “no” he answered with when she first asked him to get her marijuana. If this attraction had started with her being dependent, then not letting her be dependent would fix it. He just wouldn’t budge next time, and then everything would fix itself. Then he wouldn’t be crushing on a nineteen-year-old with a sharp wit and amazing legs, and he wouldn’t have to keep doing ridiculous things like picking her up in the middle of the night or driving an hour out to Santa Fe to buy her pot.

Nacho tried to feel relieved with that decision, but just as he reached it, he noticed Jade round the corner of the neighborhood street, wearing a tank top and, of course, the shortest jean shorts he had ever seen a white girl wear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “¿Eres tú, Nacho?” — Is that you, Nacho?
> 
> “Sí señora Rosa. Necesito ver Alberto,” — Yes Ms. Rosa. I need to see Alberto.
> 
> “Por supuesto, por supuesto. Entra yo, le de diré a Alberto.” — Of course, of course. Come in, I’ll tell Alberto.
> 
> “Te ves tan cansado, mijo. ¿Estás comiendo bien? ¿Estás durmiendo?” — You look so tired, mijo. Are you eating well? Are you sleeping?
> 
> “Sí señora Rosa. Estoy bien.” — Yes, Ms. Rosa. I’m fine.
> 
> “Conseguiré a Alberto por ti. Espera ahí.” — I’ll get Alberto, wait in there.
> 
> Carnitas — Mexican pulled pork (it's delicious).
> 
> “¡Tío Nacho!” — Uncle Nacho!
> 
> “Chingada su madre.” — Literally “Fuck your mother”, but it’s used more like “Son of a bitch” or “Goddamnit” would be.
> 
> Niñita - little girl
> 
> Mija - Shortened from Mi Hija, meaning “My daughter”.
> 
> Tía - Aunt
> 
> Chilango - A slang demonym for people living in/who are from Mexico City
> 
> Hermano - Brother
> 
> Mierda - Shit
> 
> Guys. _Guys_. We made it, Season five is finally here! I mean, I haven't seen episode 1 yet, I have to wait a day for Amazon to get it but _still_. It's exciting anyway, I don't care. Anyway, going forward the notes and story content for "Hard to Be a God" and "And Saints" will not have any spoilers for the new season but the comment section is free reign. I don't moderate them and sometimes I don't log in for 2-3 days at a time so... yeah.
> 
> Anyway, I ended up reading this out loud to the boyfriend while he was playing Gears 5 so that's about as beta read this chapter will get. Grammar mistakes and such are all on me. He was also slightly confused about Nacho's relationship to all these people, though I didn't get that (then again I wrote this). Just in case, to clarify, Nacho isn't related to any of the other OCs in this chapter. He doesn't have some random brother or sister that I made up that we've never seen before in the show. 
> 
> Boyfriend was very helpful with all the Spanish though. So thanks to him for that, and thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed 😊


	3. The Less I Know the Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho tries to distract himself from Jade while at a strip club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Tame Impala's song "The Less I Know the Better."
> 
> This chapter is just over 16 novel pages and, according to Grammarly, will take about 29.5 minutes to read.
> 
> This chapter takes place between Season One and Season Two of Better Call Saul. The warning for potential spoilers still applies for that season. The rating also changed because of this chapter because I used the words "clit" and "cock" a few times 🤷♀️ I don't quite consider it smut but better safe than sorry, I guess.
> 
> The one Spanish word in this is translated below in the End Notes.
> 
> This is the twin chapter to Chapter Eleven of And Saints, "The Less I Know the Better," told from Nacho's perspective. If you haven't read that story, at least up to that chapter, then this might not make sense, especially the pining. I guess you can still read it if that's your thing though, I won't stop you 😊

To: Dolor de Cabeza  
Text: 1/1  
You hold my attention better than they can.

He had sent her that damned text and never got a response. He tried not caring. He tried assuming she was busy or had misplaced her phone. Jade was drunk, high, and at a party after all.

Worse than thinking that he had said the wrong thing was worrying if something had happened to her. He honestly doubted that Corey would do anything, he couldn’t even imagine what the kid was like when he was angry. It’d probably be more hilarious than frightening. Despite that, he still couldn’t stop worrying about Jade. He had ended up checking his phone so much that Tuco, of all people, had called him out, not even an hour after Jade quit responding.

Nacho nearly turned his phone off after that, but then he’d have no way of knowing if Jade needed him to go and pick her up. Instead, he left the volume up and vibration on and just let his phone be in his pocket. Even when he wasn’t constantly checking his phone, he couldn’t stop thinking about their last phone conversation or the final text he had sent her.

You hold my attention better than they can.  
I told him flat out that I never had gotten off before.  
You hold my attention.  
I never had gotten off before.  
You’re falling for a fucking nineteen-year-old who has never had an orgasm before.

He drank more than he usually would that night at the strip club, but even while buzzed, those thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. He had thought about snorting crank with Tuco at one point, the first time he had considered such a thing in almost a decade. But what if that nineteen-year-old, who had never gotten off before, who Nacho had a crush on like he was a teenager himself, called because she actually needed help?

Later on, he did take a toke from a joint Carlos had rolled. Instead of thinking about Carmen, his mind was stuck on a certain nineteen-year-old who wasn’t texting him back.

He didn’t want to be there, not at that moment. Another hour, maybe, and he could go home, Nacho figured. He had excused himself from the VIP lounge with Tuco and the guys, and walked through the club towards the bathrooms. He only stood in the hallway where they were located and leaned his shoulders against the wall. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, allowing himself to finally check it. However, Nacho knew he had no new texts or calls.

In that hallway, Nacho stared at his phone for a good seven minutes (he had watched every single one pass on the digital clock on his phone). The whole time he told himself that Jade wouldn’t text or call him. Why would she after an hour of silence? She was fine, she told Nacho that she’d be fine. Jade knew everyone at the party, and Nacho figured she was already wasted. She was halfway gone by the time she had called him, she was probably gone now. Wholly gone or getting laid— But what if she wasn’t? What if it wasn’t consensual? What if there was another Dylan?

Nacho sighed heavily, pressing the balls of his thumbs into his eyes. He didn’t want to think about that, he didn’t even want to be thinking about some nineteen-year-old. More beer, he figured, dropping his hands from his eyes. He needed more beer, or maybe something harder, tequila, or vodka. Nacho knew he had work tomorrow, but at this rate, he wouldn’t get any sleep with his mind on Jade. If he drank himself into a blackout, he’d at least get some rest.

It was a dark thought, he knew it, and he remembered his blackout nights for the first couple months after Carmen had left him. Work, drink, fuck some stripper or meth whore, then sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. But if he got wasted, what would he do when Jade called him? _If_ , he reminded himself. _If_ she called.

Nacho shoved his phone into his pocket and left the hallway, making his way to the bar. He barely got a few steps out of the hall, however, before there was suddenly a body blocking him.

“Hey,” the body, a stripper, said. Nacho recognized her forced smile from the VIP lounge. She’d been passed between Arturo and Tuco a couple times, not just that night.

“Hi,” he responded in an unintentionally irritated manner.

“The guys are missing you. Thought you fell in,” she crossed her arms over her short, ruched tube dress. Her smile faded rapidly with the tone Nacho had used.

“Cute,” he sighed, raising an eyebrow before glancing over her shoulder at the bar. “Tell them I’ll be back in a sec—”

“Do you want a dance?” she cut him off, and Nacho’s eyes were back on her face.

“I’m—” _good_. Nacho couldn’t finish because she had cut him off again. It was honestly annoying, but he tried to ignore that.

“First one’s free,” she added. Nacho noticed she tightened her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts up slightly more than they already were under her skimpy tube dress. It was an intentional act, so Nacho kept his eyes fixed on her face.

“I’m good,” he got out this time. The stripper’s shoulders fell, and she lost some height despite the platform stilettos she had on. She glanced back towards where the VIP lounge was.

“Please?” she said, before looking back at him. Nacho still had his eyebrow raised at her. What stripper begged a dude to give them a lap dance? Then he realized she wasn’t upset that he was declining, she wasn’t hurting for cash, she wasn’t having trouble getting attention at all. It was who’s attention she was getting that she didn’t want. She was trying to avoid precisely who Nacho was trying to avoid by excusing himself to the bathroom.

“You’re new, huh?” he asked her. He’d maybe seen her another night or two at the club. “None of the girls mentioned Tuco to you?”

The stripper was quiet for a moment. “First one’s free,” she offered again, instead of answering him.

They fundamentally wanted the same thing, he figured, why not get a free lap dance out of it. Maybe she’d help take his mind of Jade for three minutes. “Okay,” he nodded, and immediate relief washed over this new girl.

“Follow me,” the stripper told Nacho, before dropping her arms and turning around, leading Nacho towards one of the private rooms. She turned and looked back a couple of times to make sure he was following her, and Nacho briefly thought she was a little bit pushy. Coming upon an empty room, Nacho noticed a bouncer eying them and decided to try and ignore him. The club was paid by Tuco to keep the bouncers away from the VIP lounge, but out here, it was free-range, and they had no trouble kicking any of the guys out. That was another option, Nacho figured. Get handsy and get thrown out so he could go home.

“You were headed to the bar, right?” she asked him as they came up to one of the empty rooms.

“I was,” he admitted, avoiding a sigh. They were helping each other out, he reminded himself.

“I’ll grab you another beer?” she offered.

“Sure,” he agreed, since it allowed for another minute or two to himself. When the stripper left, Nacho sat on the rounded bench, directly opposite of the beaded entrance curtain. The chrome pole in the middle of the room was directly cutting it in half form his view. He pulled his phone out, even though he was confident Jade hadn’t text or called him during the short walk, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Are you waiting for a call?” his attention was brought back to the stripper two minutes later when she returned with what was definitely not a bottle of beer in her hand. Instead, he found a half-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo Especial.

“That’s not a beer,” Nacho rose his eyes back to her face as he set his cell phone beside him on the bench seat.

“You were staring at your phone earlier like you’re waiting for someone to call you,” she ignored his statement. 

“ _That_ is not a beer,” he pulled the same stunt, ignoring her probing. Instead, he pointed with his left hand at the bottle.

“It’s all on a tab," she shrugged, "You boys go through liquor like crazy." She walked forward and then stepped up onto the center table while pulling the spout topper out of the bottle. “Are you trying to tell me you don’t like tequila?”

“You think if you can get me drunk, you can keep me in here, and you can stay away from the other guys,” Nacho told her, figuring out her ploy. He watched her slide her back down the pole, her knees spreading to purposely display her pink underwear to him as she squatted down. Before responding to him, she brought the bottle of tequila to her own lips and took a drink for herself. Nacho found himself smiling at her wince from the liquor, and the stripper quickly swallowed, pulled the neck away from her lips, and replaced the stopper in the bottle.

“Something like that,” she told him, sounding like she had to catch her breath after her swig. Once the spout stopper was secured in place, she set the tequila down between her thighs, directly in front of her crotch, intending for him to reach forward and grab it. Taking her bait, he slowly reached for the neck of the bottle while his fingers came dangerously close to her spread legs and the pink fabric of her underwear.

“I was told about Tuco,” she admitted finally as Nacho took the stopper out of the bottle for himself. He didn’t respond; instead, he drank from the bottle, having a much more mild reaction than the stripper had when the tequila hit his tongue. She watched him tip his head back for a moment before finally coming back down and pulling the bottle away before she continued.

“They told me he was rough and impatient and hot-headed,” she leaned forward slightly, balancing her weight expertly on her black stilettos. “They also told me he had deep pockets if I could deal with all that.”

Nacho figured she had bit off more than she could chew with Tuco. Calling him rough, impatient, and hot-headed was an understatement. Nacho stayed silent instead of voicing that thought. He relaxed further into his seat, feeling the tequila settle warmly in his stomach as he rested his arms on the back of the bench, bottle held loosely in his right hand.

“I was also told about Arturo and his penchant for ass grabbing. And that if I wanted a reliable contact for pot to sleep with Carlos as soon as possible. And that, what’s his name, No-Doze? He’s kind of a spaz but thinks he’s macho as shit.”

A fleeting thought crossed Nacho’s mind, wondering what she had been told about him, but he could probably guess. Especially with her seeking him out like this, she had to know he was more of a gentleman than any other of Tuco’s acquaintances. She was using him. Ignoring the fact that he was also using her, he cleared his throat.

“Is this dance free because you wanted to talk my ear off? You’re not even dancing,” he pointed out. He was surprised, however, when the girl rolled her eyes at him. Immediately his mind was back on Jade, the nineteen-year-old who had never had an orgasm before. The girl he had a ridiculous, borderline infuriating, crush on.

“Just waiting for the next song to start,” she told him, obviously noticing Nacho’s shift. Instead of keeping the annoyed look on her face, she pouted, attempting to look cute. Honestly, it worked, but Nacho knew it was fake. “Can I touch you?” she leaned in further, placing a hand on the cushion of the seat between Nacho’s own legs, both for support and to be provocative.

“I can’t touch you,” he told her, watching that flirty pout she had on crack.

“Yeah,” she sighed instead and pushed off the seat so that she was balanced again. Once she was, the stripper stepped off the table, between his own legs. “They told me about you too,” she said before bringing each of her knees up to rest on either side of his hips, straddling him as best as she could with as little contact as possible. He didn’t make any move to close his legs and make her job more manageable. She leaned into him, and Nacho could smell the fruity perfume she had on over the tequila on her breath. “They said you were difficult.”

They said he was difficult? _Fine_ , he thought. “There’s a pole behind you,” he stated, a more delicate way of saying, “get the hell off me.” He didn’t actually mind her straddling him, but if he was known for being “difficult,” he might as well keep that reputation up.

She ceased all movement, her eyebrows high on her forehead as if she were wondering if he had actually just said that. For emphasis, Nacho gestured to the pole with his left hand. After another moment, and another song finally starting, she rolled her eyes again before standing up. Just to push her further, Nacho almost asked how old she was, before realizing he didn’t want to know. She looked young, and he’d be damned if he asked, and she responded honestly with a “nineteen.”

Nacho watched her step back up onto the table with one of her heels, before swinging her other leg around the pole. He only gave her about two seconds before he pulled the stopper out of the bottle and took another swig of the alcohol. Keeping his attention on the bottle, he plugged it again, and then picked up his phone. He already knew he had no new texts or missed calls, but was disappointed all the same when the screen on his cell phone confirmed as much.

“Are you that disinterested, or are you really just a prick?” Nacho heard the girl ask and couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re the one who said I was difficult,” he shot back, not bothering to even glance up at her, though he could see her idly swinging around on the pole.

“I said the other girls told me you were difficult,” she tried correcting him.

“Semantics. You agreed with them when you told me what they said.”

“Sim-what?” she asked, and Nacho looked up to her finally, finding her answer uncanny. He could picture Jade saying that exact same thing. The two looked nothing alike, this girl was a brunette, tan, and curvy in places Jade could only dream of. Still, she had nothing on Jade’s amazingly long legs, pretty smile, or sky-blue eyes.

Nacho reminded himself not to ask how old she was, but the alcohol from that night must have finally caught up to him. “How old are you?” slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. In an immediate response, the stripper smiled.

“How old do you want me to be?” she asked, leaning far back while keeping herself anchored on the pole with her thighs. He caught a glimpse of her breasts slipping from beneath her tube dress as she leaned as far back as possible, her shoulders hitting the table below her. Her question, like the one he hadn’t meant to ask, was dangerous. Still, there was a piece of him, most likely the least sober part, that wanted to answer with a “nineteen.”

Instead, Nacho managed to shake his head before pulling the stopper from the Jose Cuervo bottle again, downing more of the gold liquid.

“Can I have more?” she asked him.

“Are you even old enough to drink?” _Damnit_.

“I will be in two months,” she stated proudly while her hand reached for the bottle. Nacho handed it to her without any reluctance. At least she wasn’t nineteen. The stripper sat forward again, pulling herself up with just the strength from her thighs and abdomen. She accepted the bottle and took another drink, having a similar reaction to the first time.

“Song’s over, by the way,” she tried ridding herself of the sour face quickly before handing the tequila back. There was less than a fifth of the bottle left, and Nacho found himself wondering if he could down the rest in one go. Almost simultaneously, he told himself that was a bad idea, questioned what would happen if Jade called him while he was wasted, and then told himself that she wasn’t going to call him at all.

Nacho accepted the bottle before he reached for his wallet. The twenty-year-old stripper watched him pull a twenty-dollar bill out. “Only the first one was free, right?” he asked and watched her smirk before reaching for the bill. Instead of handing it to her, he pulled it out of her reach. She looked surprised, then upset, then realized what he was doing.

As he brought the bottleneck to his lips, with the intent of downing the last of the tequila, she stepped forward, slowly giving chase to the bill he was keeping out of her reach.

“I think you changed your mind,” she told him, one of her knees coming up and resting next to his thigh. Shortly after, the other came up next to his other thigh, once again straddling his lap.

With the bottle emptied successfully, and the tequila settling hot in his stomach, Nacho answered her. “Twenty bucks is a low price to pay to be allowed to check my phone whenever I want.”

“Who are you waiting on?” she asked him, leaning unnecessarily close to him, her cleavage close to his face even though his arms weren’t that long. There was no doubt in his mind that she couldn’t feel his breath on each of her breasts.

“What makes you think I’m waiting on someone?” he asked as she finally took the bill from him.

“You’re upset every time you look at your phone and see nothing. Is it your girlfriend?” the stripper asked him, not bothering to sit back or move away. She stayed right in his face with both her arms around his neck and her thighs on his lap.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he stated, letting the empty tequila bottle slip out of his grip and onto the bench seat. With their position, he naturally wanted to put his hands on her; her back, her thighs, her ass. Since he wasn’t allowed to touch her, he kept his arms up on the back of the rounded bench seat instead.

“Oh?” she asked him, looking like she was genuinely smiling. Maybe he had just lost his ethical inhibitions already. “Her loss.”

“Is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Nacho found it amusing that she was trying to talk to him about something she had no idea about. There was absolutely no way Jade was losing in her situation. The loss belonged entirely to Nacho.

“You’re hot,” she told him, sounding confident.

“I’m not paying you to compliment me,” he told her, picking back up his “difficult” attitude.

“Compliments are free, babe,” she kept her smile.

“I did just give you twenty bucks, didn’t I?” Nacho asked her, again prompting her without actually asking why she wasn’t doing her job.

As if to prove his question correct, she showed him the twenty-dollar bill before folding it in half twice. As she did, he could feel the weight of her pressing down on his lap. He knew it was an intentional move, especially when she ground into him while reaching back to place the bill in the strap of her stiletto.

"Are you gonna pay attention this time?" the stripper asked him as she leaned back towards him.

"Probably not," he told her, earning a scoff. She gave up her provocative act and stood up from the bench. As soon as she was off his lap, he picked up his phone again, just to cement his statement. Out of his peripherals, he watched the stripper turn around. At least she was still trying to distract him. Hell, maybe it'd work.

Nacho glanced up from his phone then, and out the beaded curtain of the room, but couldn’t see any security. He had a sudden, drunken idea, but it was too bad, he figured, that he couldn’t use his actions as an excuse for wanting to get kicked out. 

Setting his phone down, Nacho reached forward. As best he could, he grabbed the bottom hem of her dress, pulling it up, half over her ass. She noticed immediately and half straightened, looking back at him. She looked more surprised than upset, so he only stopped what he was doing without removing his hands and rose an eyebrow at her.

“You could just take it off?” she suggested after a moment, and Nacho smirked. She sat backward on his lap, legs spread around his, before she moved her hair, revealing the zipper on the back of her dress. He reached for it and took his time undoing it. The thing went damn near all the way down her back, he found. When Nacho was done unzipping the dress, she stood up, half turning around with her left hand holding the tip of the tube dress up, and her right extended to him.

“New song, cash,” she stated. Nacho, complying, reached into his wallet and pulled out another twenty. This time he didn’t move it out of her reach, but he still didn’t hand it to her. When she took it, she let the front of her dress fall, and Nacho caught a glimpse of pink heart-shaped pasties over her nipples that matched her underwear.

She sat back down, leaning back against him as she slid the dress the rest of the way off, and Nacho felt her run her hands over his thighs when she did. He wanted to put his hands on her again but refrained this time as she kicked her dress off, it landed on the circular booth seat near the bead curtain. After she leaned forward, pressing herself down onto his lap again as she stuck the new twenty in the strap of her heel with the others.

“Is this better?” she asked him, glancing back as she stood back up. Nacho didn’t answer her; he didn’t even change his expression. It almost cracked when he saw her roll her eyes again, and Nacho briefly thought about Jade. When she turned around, he first looked to his phone, knowing he hadn’t had any calls or texts before he looked out the curtain again. The bouncers were all still absent, and knowing he could force the blonde teenager from his mind on his own, Nacho reached forward again. This time, he ran his fingers along the inside of the stripper's thigh. The sudden sensation of his fingers on her skin stopped her dead in the middle of shaking her ass. She quickly turned around and look at him.

“Want me to stop?” he asked, keeping his hand frozen in place. This time, the stripper didn’t answer him, and after a few seconds, he moved his fingers up higher. Still, she didn’t move or even react beyond her eyes flicking between both of his.

“Tell me to stop,” he told her. Nacho’s fingers were no longer on her thigh, instead finding purchase over the fabric of her underwear, though the g-string barely covered anything at all. He rose an eyebrow then, waiting for her to tell him to stop.

Instead, she turned around, facing him this time, and his hand fell away from her. She looked nervous, Nacho realized but wasn’t sure of the cause. The stripper brought both of her knees back up then, one of each of his sides, but stayed off his lap this time. After, while still silent, she took the hand he just had on her crotch and placed it on one of her breasts instead. He realized then, gently squeezing and running his thumb across the bottom of her pastie, that she hadn’t had them done, they were real. Nacho almost smiled upon finding that out, but quickly stopped himself, reminding himself that he was supposed to be difficult. Instead, he placed his other hand on her other breast without her prompting, before meeting her eyes again.

“Tell me to stop,” he told her again, and this time, she shook her head, placing both her hands on the backrest of the seat on either side of Nacho’s head. She wasn’t quite straddling him this time, so as he pushed both her breasts together, he spread his legs further apart, so in turn, her knees would be forced further apart. She did her best not to sit in his lap given their position, and Nacho looked back to her face, only to find her eyes on his lips. He did smile this time, realizing this girl really did have a thing for him.

The stripper seemed to realize her mistake at the same moment, and her eyes darted up, back to his. He didn’t say anything to her as his hands left her breasts and slid down her ribs. They continued past her waist before finding their way back and settling on her ass. Nacho fully expected each second for her to finally tell him to stop. Or maybe she’d just smack him, or at least demand another twenty because the song had ended and another one was already playing.

She did nothing but stare, so he moved his left hand to the front of her underwear again, sliding his fingers down over the pink fabric. Nacho kept his eyes on her face the whole time, and finally, she reacted to him.

“You’re gonna get kicked out.”

“Are you gonna call the bouncer?” Nacho rose his eyebrow at her, while his hand still cupped her crotch over her underwear.

“What if I do?” she asked him back, and he could catch how nervous she was in her voice despite trying to hide it.

“It’d get me out of here at least,” Nacho half shrugged before glancing at his phone, silent and dark in the seat beside him. “Are you telling me to stop?” he asked after another second with no response from her.

She took in a deep breath, and he watched her chest rise as her lungs filled. “No,” she finally told him, and he pressed his palm against her, where it had been still before. “I don’t know what will happen if they catch you,” she suppressed a gasp, before looking behind them, out the beaded curtain. She was presumably searching for the bouncer as Nacho had earlier.

“Nothing will happen to you,” Nacho told her, "I'll just get thrown out." With her head still turned away, he stuck the middle finger of his right hand into his mouth while he moved the hem of her panties aside with his left. The stripper didn’t turn back around until he had that finger sliding over her folds, and this time she did gasp.

“Do you want me to stop?” Nacho froze what he was doing again, realizing she was obviously caught off guard with how forward he was being. She bit her bottom lip, something he hoped she had done unconsciously rather than on purpose, before shaking her head no.

“Coast is clear?” Nacho asked her, still patiently waiting for her.

She started to nod and answer, but couldn’t get much of a sound out before Nacho pressed his middle finger up, slowly slipping inside her. No matter how many times he did this, with however many girls, he was always surprised at how warm it was.

Nacho buried his finger to the last knuckle, taking his time at first. Her eyes left his, lowering to where his hand disappeared between her thighs. When he pulled his finger back out, he slid it along her folds, catching her clit briefly before sinking back in. He heard her shudder from his ministrations. One of her hands moved to his shoulder from the back of the seat. She was already so wet, he probably didn’t even need to stick his finger in his mouth first.

She kept her eyes downcast, focusing on his hands, so she wasn’t surprised when he started rubbing gentle, slow circles over her clit with his left thumb. He watched her face as she stifled a quiet moan, leaving it a soft, throaty sound underneath the strip club’s music. Nacho’s eyes left the stripper after another few moments of coaxing out soft mewls from her. He glanced around her at the beaded curtain again. There was still no bouncer in his sight, and Nacho wasn’t sure anymore if he was relieved or disappointed. Disappointed, he figured, though how suddenly uncomfortable his jeans were screamed the opposite.

He slowly picked up his rhythm and felt her grip tighten slightly on his shoulder. When he looked away from the beaded curtain, he was met with her eyes again. He took advantage of that and, as his middle finger was slipping out of her, he eased it back in with his ring finger. The stripper did gasp this time, her eyes screwing shut before she bit her bottom lip again.

“Shh,” he breathed out as he realized he was smiling at her and quickly tried relaxing his cheeks.

“ _Mm_ ,” was the only response she gave as she started slightly rocking her hips in time with his fingers.

When she did meet his gaze again, it was fleeting before her eyes lowered to his lips once more. It was all the warning she gave before she leaned in, pressing her lips to his. She seemed hesitant at first, but Nacho was glad to reciprocate, letting her lead while he focused on what his fingers were doing. 

Her tongue in his mouth, the taste of tequila and mint, the way she was softly whining against his mouth, how she had started fucking his hands, it was turning Nacho on more than he had meant it to. He was just trying to find a distraction, but now he had this girl in his lap, melting into his every touch. Nacho couldn’t help but think how easy it’d be to just unzip and start fucking her with his cock instead of his hands. Still, he hadn’t drunk enough to degrade himself to a quickie with a stripper in a private booth. 

Nacho felt her shudder, a tremor running through her whole body, before she broke away from their heated kiss with a quiet, needy, “ _Fuck_.” Her hand was over her mouth in another second as another convulsion hit her. This time, he could feel it tighten around his fingers inside her. He switched his pace to the frantic rocking of her hips and slowed when she did half a minute later before they both stopped in tandem. “Fuck,” she sighed again, into her hand. Her forehead came to rest on his shoulder, and Nacho withdrew his fingers before fixing her underwear with his left hand. 

Nacho didn’t say anything to her and soon found that it was a mistake. “Oh fuck, I’ve never done that before,” she admitted. Immediately his brain had switched to Jade, but not just that he had a crush on a nineteen-year-old who had never had an orgasm before. No, the tequila he had so quickly and eagerly downed had him wondering how Jade would squirm with him fingering her, how she’d sound while he fucked her, how she’d taste while he ate her out, how she'd feel just to hold. 

"I mean, not here," the stripper added breathlessly, but the damage was already done. It was so much so fast that Nacho almost couldn’t breathe, and he winced as his cock jerked painfully against the constrains of his underwear and jeans. 

It was never going to happen. He’d never have Jade that way. Shit, she wasn’t ever going to call him, so why bother? 

“Sorry,” he heard the stripper say and met her eyes again, wondering how she could see all of those thoughts racing in his head before she ran her thumb under his bottom lip. “I forgot I was wearing lipstick,” she added, and he looked at her own swollen lips, seeing red smeared on her chin as well. _Oh_. 

“You too,” he told her, watching as she smiled and blindly wiped at the lipstick on her own face. 

“Uh,” she looked behind them, leaning back slightly to check for a bouncer again. When she turned back around, her eyes went to the prominent bulge in his pants. He reacted quickly and caught her wrist when she reached for it, and it startled her. 

“I’m fine,” he told her quickly, although he wasn’t. He wasn’t anywhere near fine, he felt like his thoughts were smothering him like he was suffocating beneath them. 

“Oh,” she almost looked disappointed, and Nacho let go of her wrist. 

Despite the major setback, this girl was a good distraction for the most part, and whatever sobriety left in him wasn’t present when he said, “Not here, at least.” 

“Where?” she asked him in full honesty, no fake coyness or attitude. 

“My place,” he told her, it wasn’t a suggestion. It was that or nothing, and she understood. Nacho was expecting her to decline, realizing himself that it was a shady offer. Going home with a patron of the strip club couldn’t be that appealing and was potentially dangerous. 

When she finally moved, her knees leaving the bench seat and her stilettos hitting the floor, Nacho thought for sure she was going to say no. Instead, she answered, “Let me get my things." 

He nodded, grateful he didn’t have to ask her to reconsider or even say, “please.” 

“I’ll meet you at the door?” she suggested, walking on shaky legs to where her tube dress had been discarded before she tugged it on and struggled with zipping it up. Nacho nodded again as she returned to where he was sitting, only to grab the empty tequila bottle and spout stopper. She glanced at him once more before leaving the private room, the beads clinking as she passed through. 

~-----~

Surprisingly, his cell phone ringing did not wake him. Instead, he awoke when he heard a mumbled “telephone” next to him in bed.

Nacho didn’t bother opening his eyes; instead, he reached over and felt around his nightstand for his cell before blindly answering it.

“Bueno?” he asked before clearing his throat. He figured it was one of the guys anyway, or maybe his father. Regardless, it was still night. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell it was pitch black in his room.

“Oh shit,” Nacho heard after another moment. He immediately recognized Jade’s voice, despite him having just woke up and how quiet she was. “I’m sorry, I uh... Never mind,” she added, and Nacho finally opened his eyes, pulling his phone away from his ear briefly to squint at the time. It was a quarter to five in the morning.

“Jade?” he quickly sat up in bed, trying to stop her from hanging up as his memory was flooded with the previous night and the last phone conversation they had had. He tried forcing that admission of hers out of his tired mind.

“Baby?” he heard the girl next to him in bed ask sleepily, the long nails on one of her hands brushing across the bare skin on his back, but he ignored her.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m so sorry. Never mind,” Jade told him again, speaking in that same hushed tone, but this time quick enough to slur half her words together.

“Jade, wait,” he tried stopping her, but she had already hung up. “Fuck,” he sighed, before quickly calling her back and getting out of his bed. She didn’t even have to say anything, he could tell something was wrong.

“Nacho?” the stripper in his bed called after him, but he only paid attention to the phone ringing in his ear. Jade let it ring four times before finally picking up.

“Are you okay?” he blurted out before she could even vocally answer his call.

“Ha, well um...” she started as he walked into his closet and turned the light on so he could grab clothes. “That’s kind of a loaded question.”

“Where are you? Still at the party?” he questioned her, slinging a shirt and his work pants over his shoulder before walking back out of his closet, not bothering to turn the light back off.

“What's wrong?” the stripper asked him, sitting up in his bed as well with his sheets pooling around her waist.

“I need you to leave,” he lowered his voice, briefly pulling the phone away from his mouth. Thankfully the stripper didn’t argue, but she did scoff and roll her eyes before dragging herself out of his bed.

“Yeah— but I mean,” Jade answered him, and Nacho wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder as he got dressed. “I’m fine— I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry.”

“I’m already on my way. What happened?” he questioned her, earning a questioning glance from the stripper in his room.

“What? Nothing!” Jade responded, this time much louder than she had previously been speaking. She almost sounded panicked. Why would Jade have called him if she didn’t need him, though? She had to be lying, he already knew she was terrible at it.

“Corey?” Nacho prompted, and Jade was silent for a moment.

“No, he’s been a ghost. I’m just, uh… I think I’m, like, I’m having a bad trip, but I’m fine. You don’t have to come.” He gave her pot, how the hell did she have a bad trip? Inwardly, Nacho sighed.

“A bad trip on what?” he asked her while awkwardly pulling a tank top over his head.

“So um, like this kid, his name is Badger— like the animal— he’s like...” Jade started a long-winded explanation, “He brought some of his head pills, ’cause, like, I guess he’s got like—”

“Jade, what did you take?” Nacho had to cut her off.

“Adderall,” she shortened her answer.

“Adderall?” he asked before running a hand down his face. “And you don’t do meth?”

“Adderall is meth?” Jade sounded astonished like she had no idea what she had taken. No wonder she had a “bad trip,” Nacho figured before sighing again.

“Don’t worry about it. What else did you take?” Nacho asked as he buttoned his shirt up, again holding his cell phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Just the two pills.” Jesus Christ, she took two? “And then I was really great, but then I started feeling like the Earth was like— never mind that’s dumb. But I smoked some pot with my friends earlier, and I’ve been drinking all night, I think.”

“You think?” Nacho questioned her in confusion. He looked to the stripper he had shared his bed with, slightly annoyed at how long she was taking to get dressed while he was already fully clothed.

“Like I might have passed out? I don’t know?” Jade admitted, sounding confused herself. He briefly wondered why he hadn’t just left the strip club to go get her when he called her earlier that night. She was already drunk at that point, he could have convinced her to leave with him.

“Fine,” Nacho sighed heavily. “So just the pills, pot, and booze that you know of?” Nacho tried to clarify her answer.

“Um…”

“Jade?”

“Yes. Yeah, yes, just that—those. Yes.” She suddenly sounded sure of herself.

“Where are you?” he asked her, silently helping the girl in his room zip the back of her short dress up.

“I’m at the party—”

“No, where physically?” he better explained, following the girl out of his bedroom and into his living room.

“I’m outside. I’m in the back yard,” she answered him quickly as Nacho grabbed his wallet and keys from the bar counter, before out pulling several bills out and handing them to the stripper.

“Call yourself a cab,” he explained, despite handing her enough money to probably get her a ride out of the state. He didn’t bother counting, he didn’t care. “Okay, go inside,” he started instructing Jade, making sure to keep his words simple, “go to the kitchen, and get some water.”

“I’m not—I’m okay,” Jade told him, but he was half distracted by the girl lingering by his front door, his cash already stuffed into her bra.

“Can we hang out again later?” she asked him. His immediate reaction was to shrug, but he felt like an ass shortly after, watching the girl, whose name he honestly didn’t even remember, pout.

“Yeah, sure,” he quickly told her, but she didn’t look convinced before slipping out his front door.

“I’m not thirsty,” Jade continued, unaware of the stripper trying to talk to him in his apartment

“Jade,” he stopped her before reiterating, “Go to the kitchen, grab a clean glass, and get some water.”

“Okay,” she readily agreed with him this time. A moment later, she asked, “Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad,” he explained, though he probably did sound upset to her. He had just said Jade was fragile, so of course she’d mistake his annoyance with the stripper and the time of day as anger towards her. “You’re going to the kitchen now?” he asked Jade, trying to take her mind off his mood. Meanwhile, he walked back towards his bathroom, figuring it was early enough that he might as well head to work after helping Jade.

“Yes.”

“Tell me when you get your water. Use a clean cup,” Nacho told Jade, opening the mirror cabinet so he could pull out his toothbrush and toothpaste. Before he closed it, his eyes landed on the toothbrush Jade had used several weeks ago, like they had every morning since then. Once again, he wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder. Once his hands were free, Nacho squeezed toothpaste onto the brush before he stuck it into his mouth. While he brushed his teeth, Nacho realized he once again was staring at Jade’s toothbrush

“Okay, I’m getting water,” she told him about a minute or two later, and he quickly spit the froth out of his mouth so he could give her further directions.

“Drink it, and wait for me in the kitchen,” he said, moving his phone to the other ear before turning the sink faucet on and rinsing his toothbrush off.

“You’re sure you’re not mad at me?” Jade questioned him again as Nacho returned his brush next to Jade’s and grabbed for his mouthwash.

“Yeah, I’m not mad. I’m already on my way,” he told her as he unscrewed the cap, but he waited for her to respond before doing anything further.

“Thanks, Nacho.”

That meager politeness shown through Jade’s state, he realized. It was that same thing she said to him every time he did something for her, from opening the door for her to picking her up at five in the morning from a stupid party she insisted on going to. Those two insignificant and often meaningless words from anyone else somehow meant something coming from her. They were a small confirmation that he was doing something right, at least by Jade. Anything he did for her seemed like it was worth it if he heard those two words, and Nacho had yet to find a limit.

“Just…” he started, collecting himself and trying to push that feeling away, filing it off in hopes that he wouldn’t find it again. “Stay in the kitchen. Call me if you need to,” he continued with his directions, finding that the safest response.

“Okay,” was all he got out of her this time before they hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bueno" - Pretty much means "good" but its also used as a greeting.
> 
> Okay, so, as I mentioned a couple of times in End Notes for And Saints, I had this written out and finished before having this dumb idea like "hey, Nacho should finger bang a stripper"... So I added it in after two months 😅 I wrote most the parts between Nacho and Morena (the stripper, I'm an idiot and never gave her name in the chapter) during a writing sprint live stream that ended around 1 am my time, and spent the last five hours tweaking/editing. It's now past six in the morning, I haven't slept, I'm running solely off Arizona green tea and new Lamb of God, and I hope you managed to enjoy this anyway. I'm sure it's a total wreck, but I'll fix it later. As you can guess, this wasn't beta read. I did read the second scene out loud to my boyfriend, though. So all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I did pass the 200k word mark in my Scrivener file by the way, so that was pretty awesome (if you're wondering the 200,000th word was "do"😆).
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this update, and thanks to everyone for reading and leaving kudos/comments. I'll have Chapter 15 of And Saints up next weekend for you all.


	4. My Kind of Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho reflects on his developing relationship with Jade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Mac DeMarco's song "My Kind of Woman".
> 
> This chapter is just under 3 novel pages and should take about 5 minutes to read.
> 
> The spoiler warning for Season 1 of Better Call Saul remains in effect. Also, no content warnings for this chapter.
> 
> No Spanish was used in this chapter. Actually, there's no dialogue either, just Nacho struggling with his emotions ❤
> 
> This is the twin chapter to Chapter Thirteen, "My Kind of Woman", from And Saints. It's told from Nacho's perspective and takes place after Jade passes out at his apartment. If you haven't read that story, at least up to chapter thirteen, then this really won't make too much sense. But hey, you do you 😉

It didn’t take Jade long to fall asleep. He didn’t know if she had slept after leaving her and her friend at her house earlier that morning. He knew she was tired, in the least. Her unusual dark circles were proof of that. The party last night and Tuco in the afternoon left her falling asleep on his couch when he got back from the store. Him going to the store could have been a disaster in itself. The only things he knew to buy were what Carmen used, those same bottles he saw in the shower every day for the couple of years she lived with him. That Mr. Bubble request had thrown him for a loop but was also what saved him from heartbreaking nostalgia. The sweet scent from the bubble bath made enough of a difference that he could sit on his couch with Jade half on top of him and not be plagued with thoughts of his ex. Instead, his full attention was on the sleeping girl, even the television was droning on in the background unheard.

Nacho had barely gotten any sleep himself, between that stripper last night and Jade calling him at five in the morning. He was tired, but he managed to sit there with Jade until about nine at night, just thinking. Twenty-four hours ago, if he told himself, he’d be lounging on his couch with Jade asleep on his chest… he probably would have just went home and waited it out. He wouldn’t have had his small breakdown about having a crush on a nineteen-year-old or let that stripper come home with him. He would have just called it an early night, went back to his apartment, and waited for Jade to call him for a ride home.

That in itself may have been a mistake though, going to pick Jade up from Pinkman’s party at five in the morning. Before that, he felt like he still had some sort of control over this attraction. Now, it felt more like he was in a free-fall. There was this cosmic pull Jade had, and he was slowly falling into orbit around her. The biggest mistake, even more than flirting with a drunk teenager, was touching her. It was the first time he had ever seen her in a dress, at that party, and he just couldn’t help it. He could have carried her out of the house the same way he carried her friend. Hell, she probably would have been fine walking out on her own with his hands on her waist or shoulders. Instead, he had to dive headfirst into his own stupidity and wrap her damn legs around his waist.

The whole day he couldn’t shake that feeling of her thighs on his waist, her ankles locked behind his back, her arms around his neck or his hands under her thighs. It led to his next mistake, bringing her around Tuco Salamanca. It was the quickest excuse he could find to see Jade again. As demented as it was, he got his wish of touching Jade again, after she had fallen victim to one of Tuco’s outbursts, and had been maimed. Immediate thoughts of Dog flooded his memory when he saw that knife sticking out of the table and Tuco’s hand over Jade’s face. It was as if that piece of Dog’s skull under Nacho’s skin was trying to say, “I told you so.” Looking back on the situation, calling Jade his girlfriend was probably the fastest way to cool Tuco off. Now he’d have to try and keep that facade up without Jade herself catching on.

He had rushed Jade back to his place, much like he had after that college party where she was maybe-raped (he refused to ever ask her about that night again, and Jade never talked to him about it, so he’d never know for sure). There, he somehow ended up in a similar position with her sitting on his bathroom counter and him once more in between her long, bare legs. Only now, she wasn’t inebriated. Jade had started calling him out for his harebrained scheme selling OxyContin pills behind Tuco’s back. Her calling him greedy was a trigger. A year-old defense mechanism kicked in immediately, arguing with her like he used to argue with Carmen.

The end of that argument was probably the last rational decision he had made with Jade, telling her she was done and could quit. She would never have to do any of this again, and he could just forget about her. Instead of storming off like Carmen would have, Jade came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, hugged him, and apologized. She apologized to him, as backward and fucked up as it was. But that hug and that apology had come at the expense of the last shred of his sanity. Just to prove that fact, like a cherry on top of his fucked up crush of a sundae, he had easily fallen into her trap of washing her hair. After, he was struggling with himself to not just pick her up out of the tub and walk her to his bed. The only thing stopping him then was her glaring confession of never having had gotten off before. It wasn’t like she had admitted to being a virgin, but she might as well be Nacho figured.

And now, she was asleep on top of him, and his fingers were practically numb from tracing shapes on her shoulder for the last couple of hours. Unless he wanted to pass out on the couch with her, Nacho realized he had to pick her up and take her to bed. Only this time, his intent was leaving her there to sleep.

Nacho’s fingers finally stopped moving across Jade’s shoulder as he pulled away, craning his neck to get a better look at her face. He gently pushed her hair back, out of her face, even though he was reasonably sure she was a heavy sleeper, and once she was out, she was out for good. It was still a sight to behold, beautiful and peaceful, yet similarly terrifying. It was the face of someone who had stolen his last shreds of dignity and sanity.

Nacho sighed, resigning himself to that fate, before slowly shifting under Jade so he could slide out from beneath her while still supporting her head and shoulders. Gently, he laid her face up on his couch before he fully stood up and stretched. After he walked into his bedroom, keeping the light off while he pulled the covers back on his typical side of the bed, readying it so he could easily lay Jade down. After, he walked back out to the living room, grabbing the long-forgotten remote so he could turn the TV off before setting it on his coffee table. He turned around then, and took one last lingering look at Jade asleep on his couch, before bending down and slowly maneuvering her into his arms. Even as dead weight, she was easy to pick up and carry bridal style into his bedroom. He laid her down on his mattress, before pulling the covers half over her (it was summer after all). After, he reached over her to grab a pillow from the middle of the bed. Nacho walked out of the room, only half closing the door behind him. He then grabbed a blanket from the linen cupboard in the hallway, before settling himself on to the couch for the night. At least this was his own choice, and he hadn’t been kicked out of his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a hot minute, right? 😅 I finally got my ass in gear, and I wrote two or three more Nacho POV scenes after realizing that I _really_ need to write a scene in Nacho's POV for a chapter coming up in And Saints. It's not necessary, but it would explain why all my characters seem to lose their brains (spoiler? maybe?) suddenly.
> 
> Anyway, I know this was short, but I really like the idea that Nacho can't deal with the feelings he has for Jade ❤ The next few are a bit longer but nowhere near as long as a typical chapter form And Saints. I'm planning on uploading them over the next few days, depending on how fast I can write them and run them through Grammarly, so this might be updated a bit "rapid-fire" for the next couple weeks.
> 
> Thanks to those who read, double thanks for those who leave kudos/comments. This wasn't beta read, but as usual, I did read it out loud... once. So all mistakes are mine.


	5. Curbstomp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Meg Myers' song "Curbstomp".
> 
> This chapter is 8 novel pages and should take around 14 and a half minutes to read.
> 
> The spoiler warning for Season 1 of Better Call Saul remains in effect. Also, because we're dealing with Dylan, there are dialogue and character thoughts dealing with physical violence, threats, and non-con/rape. No actions, just thoughts, and words.
> 
> The Spanish used in this chapter is translated in the End Notes.
> 
> This is the twin chapter to Chapter Fourteen, "Curbstomp", from And Saints. It's told from Nacho's perspective and takes place during scene 38, while Nacho is at the hospital dealing with you-know-who. If you haven't read that story, at least up to chapter fourteen, then... uh... spoilers?

People were avoiding them in the waiting room. Nacho didn’t blame them. He, Arturo, and Carlos didn’t exactly look like the friendliest guys, especially with Nacho’s scabbed knuckles. He kept staring at them as his hands laid palm down on his lap.

Carlos was one seat over on Nacho’s right, and he kept flipping his phone open and closed. He guessed Carlos was texting someone but didn’t bother lifting his eyes from his knuckles to check if he was right. Arturo was in a seat adjacent to the row Nacho and Carlos were in. He was patiently staring up at the television across the waiting room, where the other hospital guests had gathered to keep away from them. Nacho didn’t doubt that Arturo’s patience came from doing Hector Salamanca’s grunt work. Working for that man had to require a completely different patience than being Tuco’s right-hand man. Especially now, when all Nacho seemed to want was for Tuco’s heart to explode after taking one to many bumps of crank.

In the middle of that fantasy of Tuco dying, and Jade and himself being safe from Tuco’s wrath, Nacho was violently pulled back to reality by a quick and shrill, “Hi, it’s Vince with Slap Chop.” His eyes immediately left his knuckles to stare at the television across the room. If there was a god, he was reasonably laughing at Nacho at that moment. It was as if the asshole on the commercial was mocking Nacho’s thoughts of Jade’s safety. The only way Jade would be safe was if he cut her off altogether. He almost had after he had brought her back to his apartment when Tuco had sliced her hand open. Instead, with merely a hug and an apology, Nacho was back to doing Jade’s bidding while desperately trying to get her to stick around.

He should have stood his ground and told her to leave. Her creep stalker wouldn’t have found her otherwise. When he asked Domingo about Dylan, he said the kid was a “friend” of one of the other junkies. Besides wanting (Domingo had used the word “demanded”) a description of Jade, there wasn’t much more interaction. He just seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Hey,” Nacho’s attention was pulled away from Dylan. He was in a hospital room roughly thirty feet down the closest hallway to the waiting room. Nacho tore his eyes off the television, which was playing another commercial entirely. They landed on Domingo, who was walking up to him, Carlos, and Arturo.

“I got all the stuff,” Domingo said as he stopped in front of Nacho, holding a paper bag. “All the stuff” Nacho had told him to get included a new CD and CD player, two grand in cash, and a smaller nine mil handgun. 

“Everything?” he asked his friend, raising his eyebrow. Domingo nodded, and Nacho looked from the brown paper bag in Domingo’s hand and up to his face. He didn’t even realize.

“You brought it inside?” Carlos voiced Nacho’s question for him, knowing what Nacho instructed Domingo to get.

“Uh—” Domingo swallowed, suddenly realizing his error of walking into a hospital with two grand in cash and a loaded handgun in a paper bag.

“Sit down,” Nacho gestured to the seat on his left. “You got the right CD?” he asked as Domingo sat down and shoved the paper bag under his seat, out of view.

“Yeah, the guy at the record shop said it was the right one, and they look the same,” Domingo nodded but thankfully didn’t go digging around in the paper bag to prove it to Nacho.

Nacho only nodded before looking back to the scabs on his right hand.

“Guess your lawyer isn’t showing face?” Arturo asked after a minute of silence between the four of them.

“Guess not,” he answered. Nacho figured that “James M. McGill, a lawyer you can trust” was smarter than that. Now it was just another threat he had to carry through. Nacho stopped himself from sighing and instead stood up from his seat. If the lawyer wasn’t showing up, he’d better figure out another way to deal with Dylan and fast. As he stood, however, his phone began buzzing in his pocket.

He did sigh this time, hoping that it wasn’t either his father or Tuco. Instead, he found McGill’s name on the screen. “Speak,” he answered the call.

“I’m here— I’ve been here for a bit, mind you—” he started over-enthusiastically. It only deepened Nacho’s frown.

“Where are you?”

“I’m trying to find you,” his tone was overly sincere. Nacho recognized that McGill was trying to hide his fear from him. “I asked the nurses, and they don’t have an Ignacio Varga in the system—”

“You asked them for me?” Nacho almost laughed. Instead, he walked away from the waiting room.

“Well, you said you needed a lawyer and to meet you in this hospital—”

“I’m not admitted. Ask for Dylan Patrick Sullivan. I’m in the nearby waiting room,” Nacho told him before hanging up, not giving Jimmy a chance to speak again. At least he had the common sense to show up. Or, possibly, the lack of common sense. Instead of immediately turning and walking back to the waiting room, Nacho kept going down the hall until he could see Dylan’s hospital room’s closed door. It’d be unlikely that the kid would leave after only a couple hours with his broken arm and pending drug charges. Still, it helped settle Nacho’s wrath just that much to see the closed door and the cop sitting guard outside.

Without a second of hesitation, Nacho turned around and walked back to the waiting room. By the time he arrived and had walked to the seat he had occupied between Domingo and Carlos, McGill was briskly walking into the room. When he saw Nacho and the rest of the guys, he skid to a halt. Nacho watched McGill swallow nervously as Domingo, Carlos, and Arturo noticed him as well. Instead of sitting back down, Nacho nodded towards the hallway he had just come from. The guys stood and followed Nacho, with James McGill in their wake.

“Down here,” Nacho glanced back at the lawyer. “Dylan’s in a room guarded by a cop. I need you to get in and convince him to hire you as his attorney,” Nacho explained, stopping just out of view of the police officer outside the closed hospital room.

“What, uh,” McGill started as he realized he was suddenly surrounded by Arturo at his back, Nacho at his front, and Domingo and Carlos on either side. “What is he in for?”

Nacho shrugged. “Possession, sale of a controlled substance, doesn’t matter.”

“It—it might matter,” McGill looked like he was trying not to shrink under the hard stare Nacho was giving him, “a bit.”

“The guy got picked up under the influence with narcotics and cash on him,” Carlos explained, matching the glare Nacho had.

“Okay,” McGill nodded, forcing confidence. “Run of the mill drug charges. I can help him—”

“No,” Nacho stopped the lawyer. “I didn’t call you to help him. You’re helping me put him in jail.”

“I… I don’t follow,” Jimmy broke his eye contact to look at the others surrounding him. “Is he some sort of… competition?”

“That bitch ain’t competition for anything,” Arturo enforced. Still, Nacho could see the lawyer was having trouble grasping what he needed to do with his high and mighty lawyer standards. Forcing more patience on himself, Nacho called McGill’s attention back to him.

“Answer this,” Nacho prompted, and McGill’s eyes were on him again. “Maximum sentencing for simple possession starts at eighteen months?” Nacho already knew that answer, it was a well-known hazard of his chosen profession. Luckily, it wasn’t one he had yet experienced. In front of him, the lawyer began to nod, opening his mouth to speak as if he were going to explain that good behavior could lower it further. “Trafficking is five years, but that’s a stretch with the amount of crank and cash he had on him. Do you follow?”

“Well—”

“What’s the minimum sentencing for rape?” Nacho could hear his heartbeat in his ears. If his arms had been at his side and not tightly crossed over his chest, his hands may have started shaking. Jimmy wasn’t alone in staring at Nacho in bewilderment; Domingo, Carlos, and Arturo all snapped their attention onto him.

“Th—that depends on what you mean by—” the lawyer started slowly, gently treading over the subject. Nacho didn’t know what the charges would be, but he’d be thoroughly surprised if it was more than eighteen months.

“Date rape. Drugging girls at parties,” he clarified, trying to ignore the confused stares he was getting from Carlos, Arturo, and Domingo.

“Hey, is Jade okay?” Domingo questioned, and Nacho ignored him, keeping his eyes locked on McGill.

“The… The max would be a year— for a first offense,” the lawyer half shrugged, looking around at the others when he realized Nacho wasn’t going to answer Domingo.

“But the girl would have to testify?” Nacho rose his scarred eyebrow, letting McGill know that he wanted an answer to the question.

“Well, it would help. Yeah.”

“Then I’ll spare her that humiliation and take the eighteen months,” Nacho told him with a slight nod, his mouth still in a hard frown.

“So you…” McGill asked him before chancing a glance at Domingo, Carlos, and Arturo. The three were still wrapping their heads around the situation and slowly coming to the realization of what Nacho had stated. “You don’t want me to… help him?”

Nacho took a half step forward, watching McGill’s Adam’s apple bob nervously. “If you could find a way to put that shit stain away for life, I’d happily have you do that,” Nacho told him, figuring he must have had the wrong idea on why he was called. “Since all we’re working with are drug charges, I’ll take him getting locked up for eighteen months to get him out of my girl’s life. Now,” Nacho paused to point down the hallway at Dylan’s room. “Get in there and convince that cabrón to hire you as his attorney or else he’ll have one of my guys waiting for him on the inside with a filed down toothbrush. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” McGill swallowed nervously. Nacho stepped aside, clearing the path for McGill, so he could walk down the hallway towards the cop and Dylan’s room.

“Hey, ¿qué onda con Jade?” Carlos asked, turning his attention fully to Nacho.

“Nada.” He didn’t even look at Carlos or the other guys. Instead, Nacho made his way back to the waiting room. Nacho sat in the same seat and resumed staring at the scabs on his knuckles.

None of them said anything upon returning to the waiting room after Nacho, but he did see all three men pull their phones out at some point in the fifteen minutes McGill was gone. Domingo was the first to take his out and kept it flipped open the entire time. Carlos waited for about five minutes, with a bouncing knee, before pulling his phone out and sending a quick text. Arturo waited the longest, lasting maybe another two minutes before copying the other’s actions. He quickly sent a text, Nacho assumed, and then set the closed phone on his knee. They had all messaged Jade, Nacho just knew that. If she hadn’t very obviously wanted nothing to do with him when he dropped her off at home, then he might have text her as well. He might have been texting her this whole time.

He sat there, listening to the responses he assumed the guys were getting from Jade, staying in his seat until the lawyer showed his face again.

“Uh,” he cleared his throat, and Nacho looked up from his knuckles at the man, “Good news,” he said, using his hands for emphasis though his voice was shaky. “Mr. Sullivan was very understanding of your terms and has agreed to hire me as his attorney,” McGill took the initiative of sitting across from Nacho as he explained. Nacho kept the hard frown on his face. “B-but he has a condition,” McGill added with a weak voice.

With that, Nacho stood up, causing McGill to jump in his seat like the time when he was put away for a day because of those Kettlemen idiots. “He just wants to speak with you,” McGill’s voice rose along with his hands as if anticipating for Nacho to attack him.

“He wants to speak with me?” Nacho asked, his patience wearing dangerously thin. Apparently, he had reached his limit for dealing with guys who fucked with Jade.

“El quiere morir,” Carlos stood, backing Nacho up, though it wasn’t needed. McGill was already shitting his pants, so Carlos was only annoying Nacho further.

“He just wants to set the record straight,” McGill explained, “Or else he’s going to give up a Domingo as his supplier.”

Nacho turned to look at Domingo, who had stayed in his seat and saw his friend’s face lose it’s color. Here he was, yet again protecting Domingo from some asshole kid, like they were in school all over again. His nostrils flared as he looked back at McGill. “How’s he expect me to get into his room with the cop outside?”

“I can help with that if I can borrow a couple of your compadres?” McGill looked to Domingo, then Carlos and Arturo. He then tried getting up from his seat, and Nacho took a step back, allowing him to stand. Nacho looked to his left at Carlos, then Arturo, and silently nodded for them to follow McGill.

“What do you need?” Arturo asked him, standing from his seat.

“Uh, give us five minutes,” McGill told Nacho, who nodded once before taking a seat next to Domingo. “Gentlemen, if you’d follow me, please,” McGill ushered Carlos and Arturo out of the waiting room, leaving it quiet once more. The few other patrons were doing a surprisingly good job of ignoring Nacho and the others.

“You good?” Nacho asked, noticing how sick Domingo still looked.

“Yeah,” he answered shortly, not bothering to look up from the spot on the floor he was staring at.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you,” Nacho sighed, but didn’t get a response, so he added, “Go in there with me. He’ll know not to fuck with you.”

“Okay,” was all Domingo said. It might be a bad idea. Domingo was anything but intimidating, but maybe having his best friend present would stop Nacho from strangling Dylan in his hospital bed.

In less than five minutes, McGill had returned to the waiting room and waved for Nacho and Domingo to follow him. When Nacho stood up, Domingo was quick to follow and looked like he was trying to psyche himself up as he picked up the paper bag with Jade’s things. The lawyer was already briskly walking towards Dylan’s room. As Nacho and Domingo caught up, they saw that the cop was gone. Nacho could hear some sort of commotion down the hallway, and there was a puddle of what looked like fruit punch on the ground outside the hospital room.

“Where are my guys?” Nacho asked as they stopped outside the door.

“They’re fine, I told them to get lost, so you’ll have to meet up with them after,” the lawyer explained as they reached Dylan’s room. We have about five minutes,” McGill added as he opened the closed door.

Nacho stepped inside first, and then Domingo followed, with McGill staying by the door. He closed it just enough so he could still keep watch. As Nacho stepped around the corner, the hospital bed came into view and along with it, Dylan. He was sitting up and had his right arm already put in a cast. It was lying limply across his stomach. He also had a bandage taped around his left temple. His left eyelids were purple and nearly swollen shut, and his nose was swollen from being reset, and Nacho thought of his raw knuckles on his right hand.

“Hey,” Dylan said, and Nacho scowled at the attempted smile. He was missing at least one molar, Nacho had seen him spit it out, and his bottom lip was cut and bruised, so he didn’t have full use of his mouth.

“What do you want?” Nacho asked him sharply, making sure his impatience was heard.

“I— look,” he slurred, then paused to adjust himself on the bed. Despite his appearance, Dylan didn’t seem to be in much pain. Nacho remembered the two OxyContin pills Carlos had forced down Dylan’s throat. “Okay, so,” it sounded almost like he was stalling. Either that, or he was nearly too high to function.

“Start talking,” Nacho warned him, and Dylan nodded.

“Okay, okay. Look, man,” he sniffed. “She— Jade, right? First I just want to tell you that she said nothing about having a boyfriend—”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Nacho snapped. It didn’t matter if she mentioned having a boyfriend or not. It’s not like Corey could have done much to deal with this lunatic anyway.

“Okay, cool— But everything we did— Jade and me, it was… it was…” he looked like he was struggling to remember the word “consensual”. “She wanted it, alright?”

“This is what you wanted to talk to me about?” Nacho asked him, leaning over the foot of Dylan’s bed with his hands tightly gripping the footboard. “You wanted to waste my time by lying to me?”

“I’m not— Jade was into it, man, I swear,” he kicked himself back further into his bed, away from Nacho. “And she, I mean, I know how she made it look, okay, but I wasn’t stalking her. I didn’t just show up out of the blue—”

Nacho shook his head before standing straight. “Él solo está mintiendo. Está muerto si habla, ¿okay? Y quedate tranquilo fuera del ojo publico hasta que los policía la calmen.” He turned to Domingo, making it evident that he wasn’t giving Dylan anymore of his time.

“Man, Jade’s lying to you, okay?” Dylan tried regaining Nacho’s attention. “She’s— she’s taking your pills.” Nacho wanted to just walk out of that room, but his body stopped, and his head turned back to Dylan in his bed. “She’s up-charging people to feed her own habit, we both split one at the party.”

Nacho immediately remembered how huge Jade’s pupils were when he had looked at her face at the park, but that could have been anything. It wasn’t a secret that she had been drinking, it could have just been booze. The count was never exact either, but Jade said she’d sell some pills at sixty dollars. It was never exact. Nacho turned, looking at Domingo and could nearly see identical thoughts crossing his friend’s mind.

Though he had paused for only a second, the moment’s thought allowed Dylan to keep talking.

“And I wasn’t stalking her, I know it looks like that—”

“Multiple calls, back to back?” Nacho rose his eyebrow. Dylan couldn’t explain that away, he had stood there and watched the kid call Jade’s old phone back to back in that parking lot before he had snapped it in half.

“She owes me money,” Dylan stated, and Nacho was about to call him a liar again. “We made a deal, she was going to start selling some of my buddy’s pot for us and— Jade, she is flaky as shit, man,” Dylan started to explain with an alarming amount of conviction in his voice for how high he must have been. “You’ve got to know if she’s dealing pills for you and meth for him,” he pointed at Nacho and then Domingo with his left hand.

Besides the flexibility in price, she was never that short, Jade was reliable. The look Nacho and Domingo shared must have shown Dylan that.

“Or—or maybe she knows not to fuck you two over? I’m not fuckin’ scary without trying, okay? But, man, your girl,” Dylan shook his head. “You gotta keep her in check. She’s shady, real shady. I just wanted to tell you that, you know, like bro to bro—”

“Call me your bro again, and I will break your jaw,” Nacho stepped back towards Dylan in his bed and watched the kid flinch.

“Okay, cool, it’s cool,” he tried calming Nacho down.

“Whatever Jade took is gone. You don’t think about it, you don’t think about her. If her name slips off your tongue while you’re behind bars, you’re dead. Do you understand? Jade doesn’t exist to you,” Nacho threatened him.

“Got it. Understood,” Dylan nodded.

“Good. Domingo,” Nacho said as he turned around, and he motioned towards the door where the lawyer was still keeping watch. McGill opened the door wide enough for both Nacho and Domingo to pass. Once they were in the hallway, Nacho motioned for the paper bag Domingo was still holding onto.

“Uh, h-hey? Nacho?” McGill caught his attention.

“What?” he asked, his voice still short and filled with anger.

“The eighteen months—” McGill started.

“Whatever you can get,” Nacho cut him off. He didn’t want to hear any bullshit explanations about laws and sentencing. He needed time alone to think and poke holes into Dylan’s story.

“I understand. But if this kid has a record as squeaky clean as he says, it’s…” McGill sighed. “It’s gonna be a stretch.”

“As I said, whatever you can get,” Nacho took the paper bag from Domingo. “Keep in touch, McGill. Don’t forget, I know where to find you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, ¿qué onda con Jade?” — Hey, what’s wrong with Jade?
> 
> “Nada.” — Nothing.
> 
> “El quiere morir.” — He wants to die.
> 
> “Él solo está mintiendo. Está muerto si habla, ¿okay? Y quedate tranquilo fuera del ojo publico hasta que los policía la calmen.” — He’s just lying. He’s dead if he talks, okay? And you’ll lay low until the cops calm down.
> 
> Dylan is just the fucking worst 😒 My boyfriend still votes that he should just die, but honestly, I'm done with him. My boyfriend also stated that 160mg of OxyContin would put someone in a coma but let's just pretend for a sec, okay? 😂 
> 
> Sorry, this chapter is way overdue, and I know that And Saints is way past this now, but I'll catch up in about... six more Nacho POV chapters 😅 I'd actually started writing this around the same time I was writing Chapter Fourteen, and that was way before Season five came out, so I was excited to finally bring Jimmy and Nacho together. It would have been cool if I got this out before season five but oh well.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading ❤ Like all of these updates, this wasn't beta read but my boyfriend was a huge help with the Spanish. Also! And Saints will be updated either later tonight or tomorrow morning if you're wondering.


	6. Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domingo and Nacho have some real talk about Jade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Grimes' song "Violence."
> 
> This chapter is about 5 and a half novel pages and, according to Grammarly, will take about 9 minutes to read.
> 
> This chapter takes place between Season One and Season Two of Better Call Saul. The warning for potential spoilers still applies for Season One. 
> 
> There's a small amount of Spanish in this that is translated below in the End Notes.
> 
> This is the companion chapter to Chapter Seventeen of And Saints, "Violence," told from Nacho's perspective (because that's the only place it fits). If you haven't read that story, at least up to chapter Seventeen, then this won't make much sense. Then again, its just some bro talk between Nacho and Domingo so... enjoy?

It had been a long time since Nacho had been on the streets dealing himself. That thought brought back a flood of memories of running through Albuquerque until sunrise with Tuco and Gonzo in his early twenties. Even at that time, he never seemed to have this much product on him. Nacho glanced to the glove box of his van, knowing it concealed about a half kilo of crank. It was enough to make him nervous, and he rarely ever got nervous. The only thing that really made him nervous anymore was Jade.

Before he could dwell on the girl, Nacho forced his mind back on the road, concentrating entirely too hard on driving. Even now, with her stalker safely behind bars, Nacho still found himself worried about that teenager. The same girl everyone now thought he was dating because of his panic and Tuco’s unpredictable temper. The same girl he’d chickened out of kissing after Emilio’s birthday because he was terrified she’d regret it. Jade would wake up one day and realize all this shit she was going through was his fault and effectively tell him to fuck off out of her life. It was safer, emotionally, if Nacho kept their relationship strictly business. He couldn’t let himself slip any further into his feelings for Jade. Losing her like he’d lost Carmen might just kill him.

With a sigh, Nacho tried concentrating on the drive to Domingo’s place. He arrived at the group of slightly run-down duplexes only five minutes later and parked his van next to Domingo’s car. He cut the engine but sat a moment in the driver’s seat. Nacho knew the sooner he got out and gave the shit to Domingo, the quicker he’d be out of danger of getting caught with it, but then there’d be nothing for the rest of the night to keep his mind off of Jade.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. His excuse was calling Domingo, but he still couldn’t stop himself from checking his texts for anything new from Jade. He already knew there was nothing, but always found himself checking regardless. With another few button presses, he highlighted Domingo’s contact and called him.

The phone rang three times before Domingo picked up with a quick “¿Bueno?” and Nacho could hear the shower running in the background.

“¿La puerta está abierta? Estoy aquí.”

“Si. Pasale.”

Nacho ended the call and got out of his van, walking to the passenger door to grab Domingo’s product from the glove box, before walking towards Domingo’s front door. As he had said, it was unlocked, and Nacho let himself in. He locked the door behind him before looking around the living room at the out of place, massive flat-screen television, and high end (non-Tampico) furniture. Nacho guessed that it’d take an organized crew and a good ten minutes to clear the place out. Still, some teenagers could make off with a grand in Domingo’s easier to carry electronics.

He moved through the living room and into the bedroom. He pulled one of the middle drawers out of the dresser, removing it before dumping out the socks and Men’s Health magazines so he could remove the false bottom. He then opened up the paper bag and dumped the small baggies of white powder into the drawer, moving them around into an even layer. When he was done, he returned the false bottom to the drawer. After, he stacked the magazines on top, and then returned the rolled up pairs of socks. By the time he had closed the dresser drawer, Domingo was walking out of the attached bathroom.

“Hey, man,” Domingo greeted him. Nacho turned to see him walking towards his closet with a towel around his waist and another in his hand as he dried off his hair.

“Hey,” Nacho crossed his arms, leaning back against the dresser. “Your share’s put up already. Barely fit in the drawer.”

“Cool, thank you,” Domingo glanced over as he slung the towel he was using on his hair over his bare shoulders. After, he grabbed a teeshirt and sweatpants from the closet and tossed them on his unmade bed.

“You sure you can handle half a kilo in a week?” Nacho asked as Domingo turned around.

“Yeah. Even after cutting Corey loose, Joel’s been going through the shit like crazy. The streets are just eating it up,” Domingo stated confidently.

Nacho nodded before standing up straight on his feet. “The kid knows what he’s doing,” he stated as he made his way for the bedroom door so Domingo could get dressed. “Have you thought about getting him help?”

He stayed near the open bedroom door, standing in the living room where he could still hear Domingo. “I wouldn’t know where to look. You said Jade’s got more friends, though?”

She did, it seemed like she had an endless supply of mindless teenage friends. Nacho had met several of them when he had picked her up from that IHOP several weeks back. He’d rather have Corey keep dealing for Domingo, even with his new habit of using the product, versus trying to get any of those morons to sell.

“They all seem pretty incompetent. The guys at least,” Nacho explained. “She’s got two chick friends, but I’m not about to put another girl on the streets.”

“Yeah,” Domingo started, and Nacho saw him walk into the living room as he tugged his teeshirt on. “Jade on that bench is enough of a nail biter after that Dylan shit.” Even the name was enough to make Nacho’s blood boil, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“What about Emilio? He knows Jade from school, he might know Joel too. You know he’s down with all of this,” Nacho questioned his friend.

“Yeah, he looks up to us like we’re some kind of gods. I don’t think he understands, though.”

“Understands what?” Nacho asked.

“That this isn’t all glamor like he makes it out to be. He’d get dumb, or get jumped,” Domingo explained. “I can hardly handle Jade out there, how do you think I’d be if I had to worry about my little cousin too?”

Domingo had a point, and Nacho would rather have some kid he could hardly give a shit about on the streets over someone he’d known since he was an infant slinging meth for the cartel. The thought only pushed his mind back onto Jade, who he’d put in that same dangerous position, and his stomach turned sour. They already had a hard enough time convincing her to carry a gun after the Dylan incident. Nacho wasn’t sure she’d actually use it in her own defense, either.

“What would it take for you to cut her loose?” he asked.

“Jade? Honestly, man?” Domingo shrugged, “If I could find someone to help out Joel on the actual streets, she’d practically be useless to me.”

Nacho nodded in understanding. Jade was already profitless when Corey was still around. Keeping her on that bench had Domingo just about breaking even on her with how much Nacho was paying her now. “I’ll see if Carlos knows anyone who needs the cash.”

“Sounds good. Uh… Do you want to hang around a bit? I taped the last fútbol game, and I have some beer in the fridge?” Domingo asked, and Nacho’s immediate response was “no”, but he stopped himself. They were supposedly best friends, and the only reason they ever seemed to hang out with each other was due to the cartel. “I can’t ever get Bianca to watch it with me.”

“Yeah,” Nacho nodded, “Carmen was the same. I’ll grab you a beer?” Nacho offered and watched Domingo smile, something genuine and happy.

“Yeah man, thanks,” Domingo picked up the TV remote and started turning the system on. Nacho walked around the corner to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were a couple new six-packs of Modelo on the bottom shelf. Nacho’s eyes wandered up, finding little in the way to eat. Aside from some sketchy take out boxes and a dozen different bottles of condiments, the fridge was bare. He leaned down and grabbed two of the beer bottles before nudging the fridge door closed with his elbow. He shouldn’t judge; the only reason he had food in his fridge was in case he had to cook breakfast for a girl. Domingo wasn’t much of a cook, and Bianca downright refused to spend the night at Domingo’s place, so he wasn’t cooking for anyone.

As Nacho pried the caps off of the beers with a bottle opener magnet on Domingo’s fridge, he tried not to think about the last breakfast he had made. For some reason, it seemed to weird Jade out, doing the exact opposite of what it was supposed to. Maybe it was because they didn’t actually sleep together, so making breakfast was out of place to her? Even so, he had been embarrassed the first morning she was at his apartment when he fed her kid’s cereal, but she was completely fine with that.

Nacho stuck the magnet back onto the fridge, before taking both bottles by the neck and walking back to the living room. “Here,” Nacho handed one to Domingo before sitting on the opposite end of the couch and tipping his own bottle towards his mouth.

“Thanks,” Domingo did the same before they fell into silence as he started the recording of the game.

“Does, uh… Can you get Jade to watch fútbol with you ever?” Domingo asked after a long silence, and Nacho knew he was trying to start a conversation. He wasn’t always this quiet, he and Domingo used to be able to talk forever when they were younger, it felt like.

“I haven’t tried…” Nacho started but sighed, keeping his eyes on the television screen and his beer held in his lap. Fuck it, he thought. “We aren’t together,” he admitted, half because it felt good to reveal the truth and half because it’d make a better conversation than lying to his best friend.

“You broke up?” Domingo asked after a second. Out of his peripherals, Nacho could see Domingo turn towards him on the couch, losing interest in the recorded game.

“No. We weren’t together,” Nacho shook his head before finally meeting Domingo’s eyes.

“You weren’t together?” Domingo repeated before laughing, “You seemed pretty together at Emilio’s party.”

Nacho shook his head with a sigh. “It’s a front. It’s not real.”

“Wait, really?” Domingo asked him, realizing that Nacho was serious. In response, he nodded silently. “Why? Why fake that?” he asked after a second, letting Nacho’s confession sink in.

“Those bandages she was wearing on her hand, you remember them?”

“Yeah,” Domingo nodded this time.

“Tuco did that. Stabbed his knife into her plate of tacos, cut her hand open, and did his lie detector bullshit on her. He thought she was playing him somehow,” Nacho explained, seeing Domingo’s jaw go slack. “I panicked, and the only thing I could think to say was that she was my girlfriend. It, uh… blew up from there.”

Domingo was silent for close to a minute before responding. “So you’re both just… ‘pretending’ then?”

“I am,” Nacho looked away from Domingo and at his sweating beer.

“What do you mean you are?”

“She has no clue,” Nacho admitted, before taking a quick swig from the bottle in his hand.

“She— How does she have no clue? You practically kissed her at that party. She was all over you— Jade is always all over you,” Domingo explained, not understanding Nacho and Jade’s complicated relationship.

“I know. I think she’s into it, but…” Nacho shook his head, still staring at his beer. “I can’t. We can’t.”

“Bullshit, you can’t,” Domingo snorted, and Nacho finally looked back to him.

“We can’t,” he reiterated. “Not with Tuco around, not with her knowing about the OxyContin. Not with her being a fucking teenager. She doesn’t need to start dating a damn druglord for the cartel.”

“‘Druglord’?” Domingo questioned his verbiage, just as Nacho had when Jade had used the word. “That’s not… over glorifying it a bit?” he added with a chuckle before drinking more of his beer.

“It’s her word,” Nacho explained, “But it doesn’t matter. I’m too involved with Tuco’s shit and she doesn’t need that.”

Domingo shook his head, drinking from his own beer before speaking this time. “You sound like Carmen.”

“Can we not talk about Carmen?” Nacho stopped him quickly, an eyebrow raised. “Shit, man.”

“I’m just sayin’,” Domingo faced the fútbol game, but side-eyed Nacho after. “Can I tell you something?”

“No,” Nacho answered, facing the television as well.

“You’re a fucking moron, man,” Domingo said anyway. 

“Yeah,” he agreed with a heavy sigh.

“No, I’m serious,” Domingo insisted, and Nacho didn’t respond, waiting for Domingo to either continue or drop the subject. “I haven’t seen you this happy in years.”

“Happy?” Nacho was caught off guard and furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back to Domingo.

“Yeah, happy. Jade genuinely makes you happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that responsive to a girl, actually. Like, ever,” Domingo explained.

“Don’t even—” Nacho began, but Domingo wasn’t finished.

“You were fucking miserable with Carmen. You were miserable when you met her, you were miserable while you were with her, and you were pathetically miserable after she left you,” Domingo kept going, and Nacho felt his jaw clench.

“Thanks,” he told his supposed best friend in response.

“Honest, man. None of the strippers that stuck around made you happy, none of your other exes made you happy. Not even that psicópata we met in El Paso, what eight years ago? A decade? She had the green eyes and the nose ring?”

Nacho actually laughed at that thought. He hadn’t thought about that particular ex-girlfriend in quite some time. “Yeah, Juliette?”

“Fuckin’ Juliette, yeah,” Domingo laughed. “She keyed your stupid little Mitsubishi and tried to light it on fire?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Nacho kept his smile. “She was great in bed, though.”

“They usually are,” Domingo laughed again. “But seriously, Jade? She’s legit. I’ve never seen you so happy or comfortable with a chick.”

“She’s different,” Nacho shrugged, his mind inevitably pulled back to her.

“Hell yeah, she’s different. She’s amazing,” Domingo agreed, and Nacho slightly narrowed his eyes at him, to which Domingo rose his hands in a surrendering gesture. “But seriously. Ask her out for real.”

Nacho didn't respond; instead, he turned back to the prerecorded game. Maybe Domingo was right. Or maybe Nacho might just ruin Jade's life even more than he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “¿Está su puerta abierta? Estoy aquí.“ — Is your door unlocked? I'm here.
> 
> “Si. Pasale. “— Yeah. Just come in.
> 
> Psicópata — Psycho
> 
> I was gonna post this one earlier in the week, but... I’m struggling to get the next chapter written 😖 It deals with what happened with Sonny, and I’m sure if I had properly introduced him as a character instead of being all “oh yeah, there’s this guy also” I wouldn’t be having as much trouble. I’m hoping to get it out by this weekend but no promises.
> 
> Anyway! This wasn’t beta read, but I did read it out loud, and I got feedback from my boyfriend, so hopefully it’s not a mess. As always, thank you guys for reading this. You’re not the only reason I’m writing about Nacho (I’m selfish, so what? lol), but all your love and support definitely keeps me going.


	7. Downtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho realizes he can no longer keep Tuco under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Allie X's song "Downtown." It is the companion chapter to Chapter Eighteen of And Saints, "Downtown," told from Nacho's perspective.
> 
> This chapter is estimated at 9 novel pages and, according to Grammarly, will take about 16 minutes to read.
> 
> Let's go ahead and move the spoiler warning up to Season 2 Episode 4 of Better Call Saul, "Gloves Off," just to be safe 😉
> 
> There's a bit of Spanish in this, mostly cussing, that is translated below in the End Notes.
> 
> If you haven't read that story, especially up to chapter Eightteen, then this won't make much sense. I'd also like to emphasize the "blood" warning I gave in And Saints. There's a lot more blood mentioned in this chapter. While I wouldn't categorize it as a "gruesome depiction of violence" it's... still a bit disturbing.

Domingo knew exactly who Sonny was when Nacho told the guys what Jade had just said in his room. Thankfully, he had some idea of where to look for the kid. Despite Nacho thinking that was enough to go off and wanting Domingo to stay at his apartment with Jade, Tuco insisted that he come with because it was “his problem.” As all the guys filed out of his apartment, Nacho made sure he was the last. He gave a quick glance to his bedroom door, since Jade had yet to come out, and found her standing in the doorway, half-obscured by his bedroom door.

They said nothing to each other, and all Nacho did was sigh before walking out of her view towards the apartment door. He locked it behind himself before nodding at Domingo. “Ride with me, the guys will follow us,” he told him, before leading the way to his van, while the rest of the guys walked towards the front of the complex.

The first hour they were gone seemed to be only dead ends. Nacho and Domingo had shown up at two different houses already. When Domingo’s insistent knocking finally got answers, they were just pointed somewhere else.

As they pulled up to the third house and Nacho cut the engine, he looked over to Domingo. “This better be it,” he told his friend and watched him swallow nervously.

“I know.”

“Tuco’s not patient,” Nacho added.

“I know,” Domingo replied again, before looking over at Nacho in the driver’s seat.

“If he’s not here, we need to figure something else out and fast,” Nacho explained. Domingo nodded in understanding before getting out of Nacho’s van. Nacho followed, closing the van door behind him with a creak and a sigh of his own.

The house was something Nacho had been expecting, every neighborhood seemed to have one. The run down front yard, cardboard taped over a broken window, the “security” door that looked like it’d fall off its hinges with a good and proper yank. Domingo had already crossed the yard and was banging on the security door while the rest of the guys got out of their own cars. Nacho could hear the car doors punctuating Domingo’s knocking.

“He better be here, ese,” Tuco nearly growled as he walked up to Nacho in front of the house.

“Lady at the last place said he’d be here,” Nacho sighed. He then glanced over Tuco’s shoulder at Gonzo with a raised eyebrow, as if silently asking, “How many more bumps has he taken?”

Gonzo only sighed with a shake of his head, seemingly understanding Nacho’s question and answering with a silent and tired “too many.”

“We already heard that shit once before,” Tuco started down what Nacho assumed was once a concrete path between the front door and sidewalk. It was half overgrown with weeds and looked like it had never been swept. “Hey! Tampico!” he shouted at Domingo despite how late it was. “Where’s this bitch at?”

“U—um,” Domingo looked back at Tuco as he approached the front door, and his eyes quickly moved to Nacho for help.

“Should be inside,” Nacho stated and crossed his arms as he followed Tuco to the front door.

“Nobody’s answering, though, man,” Domingo quickly sidestepped and let Tuco bang furiously on the door himself.

“The lights are on,” Gonzo stated, and Nacho looked to the window with the cardboard.

“Yeah, they’re probably just ignoring us,” No-Doze spoke up, and Nacho watched Tuco slowly turn around and face the man.

“Shut the fuck up,” he told him in a level voice. “I know they’re ignoring us.” Nacho did his best not to flinch like No-Doze had as Tuco’s black gaze was turned onto him. “We need to find another way inside.”

It wasn’t a suggestion; he was commanding Nacho to find another way in. He looked at the cardboard over the broken window again and sighed as he dropped his arms from his chest. In another two seconds, he had stepped up to the cardboard over the broken pane and lightly pushed. They all heard the duct tape coming loose, and Nacho watched as the cardboard fell to the ground inside. There wasn’t a screen or anything, just some cardboard and tape keeping them out.

He looked back at Tuco and the others with a raised eyebrow before Tuco ushered him on. “Get inside and come unlock the door.”

Nacho did as he was told and reached through the opening to unlatch the window and swing it open. It was a tight squeeze, but he was inside in another few seconds. However, he scowled as he realized he’d ended up stepping on a half-eaten pizza lying on the floor in an open box.

“Hijo de puta,” he glowered before wiping the bottom of his boot on the carpet. It was then he noticed that he wasn’t alone in the wrecked living room. Huddled in the corner, on a worn and stained fabric couch, was a young woman. She had her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She had long black hair with bangs, but it was matted with sweat and looked to be unbrushed for several days. Her wide blue eyes were sunken in and streaked with days old eyeliner and mascara. She might have been pretty if she was very obviously strung out. The worst of it was that she looked to be around Jade’s age.

“Uh,” Nacho started, and looked at the rest of the living room to make sure there weren’t any more unnoticed occupants. Instead, he only found rotting fast food boxes and bags. There was all manner of trash strewn about the carpet, among several syringes, razors, burnt spoons, and tourniquets. “Is Sonny here?” he asked in as non-threatening of a manner as possible after having just broken into the house. All she did was nod. “Where?” he asked her.

“Th—the back room,” she pointed at the wall behind her.

“There other’s here?” he asked next, and the girl nodded again. Nacho wasn’t going to bother with her any further, but as he made to step out of the living room towards the front door, she stopped him.

“Can—Can I go?”

“Yeah,” he sighed before waving her off the couch. She reached forward, carelessly shoving a tourniquet and other paraphernalia into a black leather zip-up bag amongst the trash littering the coffee table. After, she stood up from the couch and walked barefoot in her ripped fishnet tights to the front door. Nacho wasn’t going to bother asking if she had shoes, he had to force himself not to care as he unlocked the front door and then the screen security door.

Tuco kept his frown and rose his eyebrow at Nacho as the girl pushed past him, Gonzo, No-Doze, and Domingo. Carlos, Arturo, and Blingy were walking up to the house just then. “She asked if she could go. Says Sonny’s in the back, but there are more people in the house,” Nacho explained, watching her turn sharply to her right once she had made it down the weed-ridden path in the front yard so she could narrowly avoid the three guys approaching.

“Find him,” Tuco turned to Domingo, who entered the house first though he still looked nervous. Nacho immediately followed him, and pulled the gun out from the back of his waistband, just in case. They opened up any closed doors in the house, and the last they came to was a bedroom, but as Domingo tried the knob, the door didn’t open.

“It’s locked,” he looked back to Nacho. The rest of the guys were following them into the hallway now, and Nacho suddenly wondered if eight guys were too many to handle this. The small house could barely fit the eight of them.

“Then open it,” Tuco stated from behind Nacho before pushing past and banging on the door himself. “Hey, puta! We know you’re in there!” Tuco, obviously, got no response. “Kick it down,” he looked to Gonzo first, then to Nacho. He sighed, sticking his gun in the back of his jeans again. 

“Move over,” Nacho said to both Domingo and Tuco. The door was a flimsy interior particleboard door. It was probably completely hollow. Nacho was more nervous about his foot going entirely through the door versus hurting himself. It took two kicks, the first yielded a loud crack, and the second had the door flying open.

The bedroom was no less of a mess than the rest of the house, and inside the room were two guys, one passed out and one Nacho recognized, and hiding in the bathroom were two more girls.

“What the fuck, Domingo, you gotta break the door down?” the guy asked as Nacho walked into the room, Domingo hot on his heels.

“Are you kidding me right now? What are you thinking, jacking shit from my girl?” Domingo asked, obviously trying to sound intimidating. Nacho didn’t back him up, he wouldn’t need to as Tuco entered the room with his head on fire.

“Is this the bitch?!” he asked, half screaming as he pointed at the guy Nacho recognized, putting a face to the name Sonny. “He’s the one who jacked Jade?”

“I hardly jacked her, dude,” the kid sighed from where he sat on the edge of a disheveled mattress.

“She said you had a gun,” Domingo kept trying to keep up his tough-guy facade.

“So did she,” Sonny sighed, and Nacho had to step forward and put a hand on Tuco’s shoulder in fear that the guy would launch himself at Sonny. “Not like she’d fucking use it.”

“I don’t care,” Nacho stated, his voice coming out sharp. “Where’s her shit?”

“It’s all there,” he nodded lazily to the end table closest to the door, and Nacho’s heart nearly stopped. All of Jade’s things were there, her cellphone and Game Boy, her gun, wads of cash, and baggies of meth. But in plain view, mixed in with everything, were the baggies holding his OxyContin pills. Domingo must have seen the same thing because his breathing had suddenly become shallow and ragged. Carlos was hovering in the doorway of the bedroom and looked like he was ready to bolt. He met Nacho’s eyes for a split second before Nacho looked back to Sonny.

“I wasn’t kidding when I told you she was the worst dealer,” Sonny said as he had regained Nacho’s attention. At the same time, Gonzo started collecting the mess on the table, opting to straighten out the cash first.

“We weren’t kidding when we said not to fucking come around anymore. Domingo told you that you were done,” Nacho snapped back at him. His heart was hammering in his chest over Tuco seeing those Oxy pills mixed in with Jade’s stuff.

“You keep her chained to that bench like a dog, I can’t be the only asshole who thought of jacking her,” Sonny crossed his arms loosely over his stomach. He acted as if several cartel members busting into the room didn’t concern him in the least. Nacho realized then, that he must be high, but not on the methamphetamine powder. The OxyContin would also explain why the other guy in the room was just passed out on his stomach on the floor. He could only hope that Tuco was too tweaked out to notice. Tuco was already too focused on Sonny to see Carlos start grabbing baggies off the nightstand. He managed to grab up several of the pills, but not all of them while Gonzo counted out the cash. Carlos even tossed a couple baggies of methamphetamine into the bathroom at the girls before nodding at the door for them to leave, like Nacho had let the other junkie girl go. As expected, they grabbed up the baggies and quickly ran out of the room and, presumably, out of the house.

“You’re the only asshole stupid enough to think about jacking her,” Tuco jabbed his finger at the guy, even though Nacho was half between them now. “She deals my shit, I protect her,” Tuco kept going, even though it was a half-truth. Domingo and Nacho would protect Jade, not Tuco. That wasn’t his job.

“So, what, she’s your bitch?” Sonny asked Tuco without any regard for what he was saying.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Nacho corrected him with a hard look that told him to watch himself. Sonny didn’t seem to notice or just didn’t care.

“Jade’s your girlfriend and you put her on the streets to deal your meth and p—”

In a frenzy and a rush of violence unakin to Nacho’s usually calm and patient personality, he reached forward for Sonny and yanked him off the bed. They spun around, and Nacho forced him against the bedroom wall in a show of dominance and force if only to keep Sonny from saying the word “pills”.

“You shut up and listen. You were told once that you were cut off, and we meant that,” Nacho started, his nose only an inch or so from Sonny’s while his hands fisted in the fabric of the kid’s shirt. “The only reason you’re alive right now is because Jade asked me not to hurt you. But if I ever see you again, if you even say her name again, I will put a bullet between your eyes. Do you understand me?”

Sonny wasn’t responding to him, and they stayed in their position for an agonizing few seconds. Nacho’s stomach was twisting, thinking he’d have to hurt this guy when Jade had pleaded for him not to. How would he explain that to her?

“Yeah,” he finally nodded, and Nacho tried not to sigh in relief as he stepped away, his hands leaving Sonny’s shirt.

The relief Nacho felt immediately disappeared when he heard Tuco ask, “¿Qué son estos?” as he picked up Jade’s Game Boy and one of the baggies with a green pill inside.

“No lo sé,” Gonzo responded as he started pocketing the rest of the baggies and Jade’s things.

“Are we good?” Nacho asked, thinking that if he could get Tuco out of the house fast enough, he’d forget about the pills.

“Is this all hers?” Gonzo asked, and Nacho felt his mouth go dry. He didn’t care if he lost the pills, that hardly mattered to him. Jade’s safety came first.

“No--” Nacho tried, but Tuco spoke over him.

“Take it all anyway,” Tuco told him. Sonny didn’t seem to care and shuffled his way back to the bed, falling back into his previous position.

Nacho mistook that statement for the okay to get back to Jade in his apartment. He first made eye contact with Carlos, before looking back at Domingo and nodding for him to follow. Besides Jade’s Game Boy, which Tuco was holding, Gonzo had cleared the nightstand and was through the doorway first, and Nacho realized that was a mistake. Without him and Gonzo whispering coolheaded words of reason over Tuco’s shoulder, it was as if they had left a ticking time bomb in the bedroom.

Without warning, that bomb exploded.

The sound of a gunshot made Nacho’s knees buckle. His first instinct was to drop to his stomach, but he caught himself in the doorway. With his ears still ringing, he turned back towards the room and saw Tuco standing with his magnum revolver pointed at Sonny on the bed.

“Tuco—” Nacho barely got his name out before he fired again. And again. And again and again. Nacho had no doubt that Tuco would have kept firing if the gun would have held more than five bullets. With the four unnecessary shots, Nacho’s mind flashed to images of Tuco shooting Domingo, shooting Carlos, shooting Jade, and shooting Nacho himself. They were all fucked unless Nacho could keep his cool.

It was unnecessary brutality. The first bullet had struck Sonny under his left eye and had probably instantly killed him. The rest landed in Sonny’s neck and chest, and in the few seconds after the mattress was quickly soaked through with dark red. Blood had sprayed up the wall and over Tuco’s face from Sonny’s neck, though his pulse had stopped in a mere moment.

“Tuco?” Gonzo had pushed his way past Nacho back into the room, and Nacho could barely hear the name in his left ear.

“She didn’t want him hurt,” Nacho stupidly blurted out before tearing his eyes off the bleeding corpse on the bed. They landed on Domingo, only to find his best friend wide-eyed and white as a ghost as he backed himself into the corner the doorway was in.

“What happened?” Gonzo asked in a similar state of disbelief at Nacho.

“I took care of it,” Tuco stated calmly. It was a terrifying sound for someone who had just shot a man five times. Tuco shoved the Game Boy into Gonzo’s chest before locking eyes with Domingo and then Nacho. “I don’t give a fuck what Jade wants. Nobody fucks with the Salamancas,” he told Nacho before he walked out of the bedroom.

“Oh shit,” Domingo managed after Tuco left, sounding both sick and scared.

“Oh shit’s right,” Gonzo sighed, realizing the same thing Nacho did. They had a goddamn murder to clean up now.

“¿Qué pasa?” Nacho heard with the ear that was not ringing, and turned to his right towards the doorway. Arturo was standing there, No-Doze right behind him, and Nacho wondered if Carlos had bolted when he heard the first shot.

“Tuco went off,” Gonzo explained, and the two men pushed into the bedroom past Nacho.

“Oh shit,” No-Doze said, looking less horrified and more surprised to find the body.

“Ay, chingados,” Arturo sighed, annoyed. He crossed his arms before looking at the other sleeping occupant in the room. “Him too?” he asked, looking back to Nacho and Gonzo.

“Naw, he’s just passed out,” Gonzo shook his head, answering as Nacho struggled to find any coherent voice in his throat.

“Go have Blingy listen for sirens,” he told No-Doze before turning to Nacho. “You got a girl to get back to,” Arturo told him. In another second, a set of keys were flying towards Nacho’s chest. He barely caught them and took another moment to understand that Arturo, No-Doze, and Blingy were going to clean up Tuco’s mess. Nacho pulled his van’s keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Arturo.

“Catch up with Tuco, he’s out the front door already,” Arturo told Gonzo with a level head. Without hesitation, he did as he was told. “You got shovels in the van?” Arturo looked back at Nacho.

The only response he could give immediately was a shake of his head before he cleared his throat. “No, you’ll have to pick some up. Take the plate off the van as soon as possible.”

“Hijo de puta,” No-Doze sighed and shook his head before making his way out of the room to give Blingy the news. “This’ll take all night.” This had already taken all night. It was maybe three in the morning already.

Nacho didn’t say anything else as he grabbed onto Domingo’s arm and pulled him out of the room. He nearly dragged the man down the hallway and out of the house. As they exited, Nacho saw Gonzo getting into the driver’s seat of Tuco’s Pontiac. Tuco was already in the passenger seat, and Nacho watched as he took a bump of the meth they had recovered. Carlos was already in the backseat, looking stony-faced as Nacho pulled Domingo along to Arturo’s Oldsmobile. They shared a stony-faced glance through the backseat window as Nacho and Domingo passed.

“Get in,” Nacho unlocked the passenger door of the Oldsmobile. He opened the door for Domingo before making his way around the front of the car to the driver’s seat. He started the engine as he watched Tuco’s Pontiac drive away, and Nacho knew they were going back to his place, and he didn’t want them to get to Jade first, not with those pills. He’d planned to tail them all the way back, and maybe convince Tuco that he didn’t need to go back up and see Jade after they got to his apartment complex. Instead, he heard something similar to a gag from Domingo in the passenger seat, and he looked over at his friend.

“You okay?” he asked, despite the stupidity of the question. Domingo wasn’t okay. Fuck, Nacho wasn’t okay. He was five seconds away from full-blown panicking.

“I’m okay,” Domingo lied, but Nacho noticed the green tinge to Domingo’s otherwise scared-shitless pale complexion.

Nacho chose to believe the lie, but they didn’t get far before he heard Domingo stifle another retch.

“You can puke, it’s fine,” he told Domingo, pulling to the side of the road. Despite the situation, Nacho didn’t care if his childhood friend puked his guts out. He’d just prefer it not to be allover Arturo’s dash.

“No, I’m okay,” Domingo answered, sounding strangled as the car stopped on the neighborhood street’s shoulder.

“Man—” Nacho could barely get the word out as he turned to Domingo to reprimand him. Instead, his passenger door flung open, and Domingo hung out the side of his Oldsmobile by his seatbelt, coughing up whatever he had eaten for dinner. Nacho faced forward in his seat, resting his elbow on the door as he pressed his thumb and finger into his eye sockets.

Nacho reminded himself to be patient. It was the first time Domingo had ever seen someone die. Maybe the second. The first might have been his nana in the hospital back in fifth grade. Nacho wasn’t sure if he was actually in the room when she passed. Nacho did know that Domingo had called immediately after it happened with a payphone in the hospital.

Sonny wasn’t Nacho’s first, he was far from it. Nacho couldn’t even count on two hands anymore how many people he’d seen die, but he had never gotten sick. Even seeing Dog’s head explode right in front of him and finding out what the inside of a person’s skull looked like didn’t make him blow chunks.

As if on cue, that piece of Dog’s skull under his skin started to burn, and Nacho rubbed at it, bringing his hand away from his eyes. His vision was left blurry. Domingo had made it out of Arturo’s car now, he was leaning up against the side and puking into the gutter. Beneath Nacho’s fingers, he felt that piece of skull rub against his clavicle. Tuco liked Dog; he really liked Dog. Tuco Really liked him too, and Tuco really liked Jade, but Nacho knew that meant nothing. At any second, Tuco could kill either of them, he’d already sliced Jade’s hand open.

“Man, he saw the pills,” Domingo huffed, bringing Nacho back to his current situation. He shut his eyes tightly with the reminder. Nacho knew that. He’d watched Tuco pick the baggies with the OxyContin up and look them over. They were on top of Jade’s Game Boy for fuck’s sake.

“He doesn’t know—”

“Bullshit, he doesn’t know. Tuco’s not stupid. All that shit was Jade’s. Why wouldn’t the pills be hers too?” Domingo asked, and Nacho wanted to yell at him to get back into the car. They didn’t have much time, pulling over had already caused him to lose Tuco and the other guys.

“He won’t connect them,” Nacho stated as if it were a fact.

“Nacho, you can’t not see this—”

“I’ll take care of it, alright?” Nacho snapped, finally looking at his friend.

“You’ll… What, kill him?” Domingo asked, his face falling. Nacho didn’t answer at first, he just waited to see if Domingo would tuck tail and crawl back into the car.

“Jade’s alone, and Tuco has the pills with him. We need to catch up with him,” Nacho prompted, and Domingo finally complied, climbing back into his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hijo de puta.” — Son of a bitch.
> 
> Puta — Bitch
> 
> “¿Qué son estos?” — What are these?
> 
> “No lo sé.” — I don’t know.
> 
> “¿Qué pasa?” — What’s up?
> 
> “Ay, chingados.” — Oh, fuck.
> 
> I did it 😫 I fucking did it. I got past this scene. I haven't slept, I haven't had a chance to read this out loud to my boyfriend. I just barreled through writing it while watching replays of writing sprint live streams on Youtube, then edited it in Grammarly and played the whole thing back in a speech to text reader. If it's a mess, I'm sorry. But hey! I can get the next three chapters out fairly quickly now, I just have something minor to add to one that I should be able to do later today or this weekend.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me on this update. Again, I'm sorry if it's a mess. If there's any glaring content or grammatical issues, let me know in the comments and I'll fix them asap. 🤍 I love you all, thank you so much for reading. Stay safe.


	8. Pin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho convinces his father to hire Jade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Grimes' song "Pin".
> 
> This chapter is about 2 and a half novel pages and should take about 5 minutes to read.
> 
> The spoiler warning for Season 2, Episode 4, "Gloves Off" of Better Call Saul remains in effect. Also, no content warnings for this chapter.
> 
> Despite the situation, no Spanish was used in this chapter. Just pretend Nacho and his father are speaking Spanish.
> 
> This is the twin chapter to Chapter nineteen, "Pin", from And Saints. It's told from Nacho's perspective and takes place during the scene where Nacho and his father shut themselves in the office at the upholstery shop. As usual, if you haven't read that story, this won't make sense but you do you boo 😘

Nacho closed the office door behind his father and watched as Jade disappeared behind the door. “Papa—” he tried to start before he even turned around and faced him.

“We don’t need a person in the front, mijo,” his father cut him off, and Nacho sighed, his shoulders falling slightly.

“You’re not giving her a chance, have you even thought about it?” Nacho questioned.

“There’s nothing to think about,” his father argued. Technically, he was in the right, they didn’t need someone up in the front, and if they were actually paying Jade a livable wage, it’d put them under in a couple of years. He stopped at that thought, thinking that far ahead felt strange. Jade was so hardheaded about quitting and getting out, would she even be around in two years? She wouldn’t be if he couldn’t convince his father to hire her, and that thought was oddly terrifying. As it crossed his mind, he felt like he was suffocating.

“Ignacio, are you listening?” Papa regained Nacho’s attention, and he blinked, realizing that his father had been talking this whole time.

“Papa, you need to trust me, okay?”

“You’re not listening to me,” his father sighed this time, shaking his head in disapproval.

“Think for a moment. She’s perfect for greeting people. I’ll work on her Spanish with her. If you could have a conversation with her, you’d fall in love in five minutes,” Nacho argued for his case, but his father crossed his arms. At least he was still letting Nacho speak. “Everyone loves her; she’s a huge people person. Jade can talk to anyone. It’d look good for the customers to see her smiling at them the second they walk in. I have thought about this, Papa.”

“Everyone loves her?” Papa questioned, leaning back against the desk with his arms still crossed.

“Everyone,” Nacho started, ready to start listing what he had learned in college when he took those online business classes. Even though his father thought he was actually going to school while slinging meth with Tuco, Nacho did learn a few things. “We can afford it, I did that math too—”

“You love her?” his father cut him off, and at first, Nacho didn’t understand the meaning behind the question.

“What? Papa, I…” It was a slow revelation for him but left him speechless regardless.

“Is that what this is about?” Damn his father for being able to read him this easily. It was terrifying. What if one day he looked at Nacho and had the sudden realization that he had never quit running with Tuco? Just out of the blue, he’d look at him and say, “Get out of my shop, you criminal.”

“I’m… I’m trying to help her out. She needs a job, but has no references…”

“She has no references?” his father repeated.

“I’m her reference. She’s perfect for a receptionist,” Nacho was slowly finding his ground again, only for his father to knock him back down.

“Because you love her?”

“Papa,” Nacho rubbed at his face. He would have started pacing if the office was large enough. He’d only get three steps in any direction before hitting a wall. “I’m trying to help her, okay?”

“You’ve always had a soft spot for pretty women,” his father told him, a knowing smile growing under his thick mustache.

“What does that have to do with anything? Are you listening to me now?”

“She looks nicer than Carmen—”

“Papa, I’m not doing this. Not right now, not again.”

“But I am right, no?” his father asked, and Nacho, half defeated, sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “You’re doing this for her because you love her.”

His father was ridiculous, not because he was wrong but because he was right. Nacho flexed his jaw, trying to keep eye contact with his father, but he was backed into a corner now, and there was no way to avoid his question, they’d just keep going in circles. If he lied, his father would only call him out, so Nacho said the only word he could. “Yes.”

It was something he knew for a while now but wasn’t sure when or how it came about. It was just something about Jade that let her find every way she could into his heart. Maybe it was how his sharp sense of humor didn’t seem to bother her; in fact, she was able to match it easily. Perhaps it was the whole damsel in distress thing that she had going for her, how he’d always come running as her knight in shining armor. Maybe it was the fact that she was the exact opposite of his ex and just being around Jade was like some sort of panacea, she was something to fill that hole Carmen left.

Papa nodded at him, “I know,” he told his son after a moment, and Nacho wondered why he had to rub it in if he already knew. “How old is she? She’s young,” he asked after another moment, and Nacho felt his gut twist. As if he didn’t already know that fact.

“She’s old enough to work,” Nacho wanted to avoid that topic, but suddenly realized that a sixteen-year-old would be able to legally work at the shop. “Nineteen,” he added quickly.

“She’s young,” Papa stated again with a nod, and Nacho didn’t respond. “Your mother was young too,” Nacho saw his father raise an eyebrow at him, and he leaned back in his chair.

“I know,” he responded shortly. He knew that. He knew his father was a decade older than his mom. He knew that his mom wasn’t even old enough to drink when she had had him and that his father had already been married and divorced once. Nacho wondered if his father had said that to settle his nerves about the almost eleven-year difference between him and Jade, but the seventies were a different time.

“You already checked the numbers?” his father asked after a moment of heavy silence, no doubt thinking about Nacho’s dead mother as well.

“I did,” he answered with a quick nod. “We can afford it, and it’ll really help. She’ll be good for us,” Nacho argued again for his side and felt a huge weight lift off him when his father finally nodded.

“Okay. What’s her name again?”

“Jade,” Nacho was fighting himself not to smile. He didn’t want to look excited, especially after what he had admitted to his father.

“Come. Introduce me to her again,” his father pointed at the door, and Nacho stood to let them both out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't written in Spanish because, frankly, the whole thing would be in Spanish. In the show with Michael and Juan Carlos acting against each other, it's very natural but in a fic... It'd be super annoying I'm not gonna lie 😅 But! We finally found out what Nacho said to his father in that office, and apparently, Papa knows his son too well 🤍
> 
> The next Nacho POV chapter is going to be from Chapter 22, Anthems For a Seventeen Year Old Girl, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of excited for it? It'll be out later this week.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving Kudos. Stay safe 🤍


	9. Anthems For a Seventeen Year Old Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho calls Jade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Broken Social Scene's song "Anthems For a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl". It is the companion chapter to Chapter Twenty Two of And Saints, told from Nacho's perspective.
> 
> This chapter is estimated at 5 and a half novel pages and, according to Grammarly, should take about 10 minutes to read.
> 
> I'm keeping us with the spoiler warning up to Season 2 Episode 4 of Better Call Saul, "Gloves Off," for this chapter.
> 
> The Spanish in this is translated below in the End Notes, as always.
> 
> If you haven't read And Saints, especially up to chapter Twenty Two, then I first suggest you do 😉 Otherwise enjoy Jade temporarily stalling Nacho's brain.

From: Mi Cielo  
Text: 1/1  
hey can i call you 

Immediately he was worried. It seemed like whenever they actually spoke on the phone, something was wrong with Jade. He reached forward to turn the radio in Domingo’s car down, prompting upset responses from Domingo in the driver seat and Carlos and Arturo in the backseat.

“Chill, I gotta call Jade,” he said quickly.

“Hijo de puta,” Arturo muttered behind Nacho in the passenger seat.

“Why, ese?” Carlos asked. Nacho only waved him off, already calling Jade. He hadn’t told any of them about the date yet, not even Domingo.

“Hey,” she answered simply, after a couple rings.

“You know how phones work, right?” he asked her sarcastically, in regards to her text.

“What?” Jade missed his point.

“Never mind. What’s up? Are you okay?” he questioned, getting to the point quickly. He could already feel the ire from the two men behind him sink into his skin.

“Um… So like, Friday, right? Tomorrow?” she started, and Nacho leaned back further into his seat.

“…What about tomorrow?” Nacho prompted her to continue.

“I, uh, have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning.” She sounded so shy about it that he almost smiled.

“Okay,” he responded simply but didn’t expect her reaction.

“Wait, what?”

“Okay, like that’s fine,” Nacho reiterated. She’d miss a day of work, so what? He doubted she was lying.

“No, like, the appointment is at ten tomorrow morning or something. It’s during work,” Jade explained again as if he didn’t already understand that.

“Yeah, I got that,” Nacho reassured her.

“Like, I’m going to miss work. Because I have to go to the doctor.”

“Jade,” he sighed, looking out the passenger window of Domingo’s car to hide the fact that he was trying not to smile. “I understand. You’re not coming to work tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay…” Jade went shy and quiet again, “I thought you’d be mad or something.”

He laughed before he could stop himself. “You think I’m that big of a jerk that I’d get mad at you for a doctor appointment?”

“Well, no, but I expected some push back from you, at least. You’re not even gonna ask why?”

“Jade,” Nacho breathed in, glancing around the car at Domingo and Carlos. He couldn’t easily see Arturo and wasn’t going to fully turn around to get a read on his expression. “I’m legally not allowed to ask you why.”

“Really?” Carlos asked him quietly, and Nacho saw Domingo shake his head slowly, a full, knowing smile over his face. On the other end of the line, he heard Jade laugh at him.

“When have you ever not done something because it’s illegal?” she asked him.

“When have you ever seen me do anything illegal when dealing with my father’s shop?” Nacho responded quickly, making sure to sound serious. This whole legitimate employer/employee relationship he put them in was nothing like having her sell meth and OxyContin. It felt so much risker like he could fuck it up at any moment. He probably already had, asking her out on that date like he did.

“Okay, fair, I guess,” Jade responded to his sternness with an audible smile.

“Can I ask if you’re okay at least?” he asked her, wondering how far he could push this conversation with Jade before Carlos ripped the phone out of his hand and tossed it out the window.

“Well, not really,” Jade started, and Nacho felt his whole being sink. What? She was absolutely fine several hours ago, what the hell happened to her? He didn’t have time to voice his concern before she continued on without him prompting her. “Like, there was a freak accident, and this chimpanzee had a chainsaw, and there was a lot of blood, so…” The more she explained, the more Nacho relaxed, to the point of leaning on the armrest with his hand over his eyes.

“Okay, new question,” he started when she had given a pause in her ridiculous story, deciding to play along. “Why are you not in an ambulance right now?”

“Whoa,” he heard Arturo from the backseat, and Carlos immediately lost his pissed expression for one resembling concern.

“Is she okay?” Domingo asked him, quickly glancing at him from the road, and Nacho nodded.

“I’m kidding,” Jade told him as if it weren’t already evident. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just stupid doctor shit.”

“Okay. Um, don’t forget to get a note, so my father doesn’t drive me up a wall about it after the fact,” Nacho told her, expecting her to say whatever and hang up after. Instead, she took another unexpected path in their conversation.

“A note?” Jade asked him, actually sounding nervous. Why would she lie about a doctor visit, though?

“Are you really going to see a doctor?” Nacho tried making sure his suspicion of her lying was false.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll get a note for you—or your dad,” Jade responded, and he believed her again despite her strange reaction.

“Thank you—” Nacho started to say, but stopped when he heard her say “hold on” before shouting. His eyebrows furrowed when he couldn’t understand what was being said by the third party, but they shot up when he heard her respond clearly.

“Gimme a sec, I’m busy!… Don’t, I’m not dressed!”

Nacho wondered what “I’m not dressed” meant. He glanced at Domingo, hearing a quiet “¿Qué pasa?”, but Nacho only shook his head in response.

“Hey, sorry,” she came back on the line after a second, “I’m expected for dinner, so I gotta go.”

He knew people didn’t eat dinner naked with their family. Then again, she was perfectly comfortable walking around his apartment in only a teeshirt. Nacho told himself to laugh it off and let it go, but his next question had already left his lips. “Do you have time to answer another question?”

“Sure,” she sounded eager, and he looked around the car again, still gaging reactions.

“I’m trying to figure out a way to ask without sounding dumb,” he ran a hand over his face, only to find he was still smiling. Fuck it, he thought and just went for it. “What are you wearing?”

“¿Qué chingado?” Domingo quickly asked, and Nacho heard Arturo snickering behind him.

“Better turn around, this ended up being a booty call,” Carlos quietly told Domingo.

“Oh my god, did you hear that?” Jade groaned in her typical “end-of-the-world” fashion.

“You were pretty loud,” Nacho laughed again, glad that she didn’t take the question the wrong way. “Yeah, I heard that.”

“Well,” he heard Jade suck in a quick breath before once again throwing Nacho an unexpected curveball. “I guess that depends. Where are you right now? Are you around a bunch of people?”

Wait, was she serious? Nacho’s mouth immediately went dry. He stopped himself from looking around at the other passengers in the car; instead, Nacho stared out the front window. He was in Domingo’s car, he was with the guys on the way to the strip club. There was absolutely no way he was about to admit that to Jade, though, not after asking her out on a date. Fuck, Nacho realized, they were technically dating. Jade really was his girlfriend now.

“Thank god I’m not, I’m at my place,” he quickly lied, trying to deny that he was starting to panic for several different reasons.

“Ese, ¿qué chingado?” Arturo hit the back of his seat, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Domingo shaking his head in disapproval, but he ignored them.

“Oh, you’re alone at your place?” Jade questioned, and his eyes darted to the clock on Domingo’s dash. It was just after eight in the evening.

“Was about to call it a night,” he told her quickly, wondering if that lie was believable. It was early, even for him. Nacho already felt like the opportunity had passed for whatever they were about to say to each other, anyway.

“Old man,” she laughed, and Nacho felt slight relief when he realized she fully believed his lie. “Too bad, I’m gonna have to lie and say I’m fully dressed then,” she told him, trying to sound bored.

“You’re going to lie and say you’re dressed?” Nacho reiterated, understanding what she meant. She was in a teeshirt, she had a hundred of them stuffed into that one drawer of her dresser. She was wearing a teeshirt and probably didn’t want her family to see her half-naked. That was it.

“Yep,” Jade started, but her next words made his heart stutter. “No point in telling you that I’m only wearing panties.” 

He struggled for a response as his hand found the buckle of his seatbelt. Briefly, Nacho wondered if he should make Domingo pull over so he could get out of the car but then doubted this was even happening. Since when did Jade even say the word “panties”? “I’m listening,” he told her instead after a moment, keeping his hand on the seatbelt buckle.

“Wait. Is this happening?” Domingo asked, looking back to the others in his car. “Is this really happening?” Nacho was too focused on the vehicle in front of them to see their reactions for himself.

He heard Jade laugh as he recited the vehicle’s license plate number repeatedly in his head. Seven-two-seven-P-T-Y. He wasn’t sure if it was meant to be flirty or not. “I just said there’s no point in telling you about them.” Maybe if he didn’t respond, she’d cool down? “I mean, they’re nothing special…”

Seven-two-seven-P-T-Y. What color are they? The car in front of them was red. Are they red? Red light, Domingo’s stopping. Jade’s wearing red panties and nothing else. Domingo’s car stopped moving. Seven-two-seven-P-T-Y. Don’t say anything to her. Say something, fuck the guys with you. Get out of the car, it’s stopped at a red light. Seven-two-seven-P-A-N-T-Y. Ask if they’re red.

“I could take them off, and there’d probably be more to talk about.” The thousands of thoughts racing through his head in the three seconds since her last sentence and this one immediately stopped, replaced with only one question. Nacho asked it before he could even realize that he opened his mouth.

“Are we doing this right now?” he asked, probably too quickly, but was saved (or possibly not) by more shouting on Jade’s end. Right, she had to eat dinner.

“Jesus, what?!” she yelled back. Nacho felt his entire body relax, allowing himself to sigh; he wasn’t sure if it was relief or disappointment he felt.

He looked over to Domingo and Carlos again. Both had their curious eyes on him like they were expecting an explanation or thinking Jade was still talking to him about her panties. 

“Sorry Nacho, I gotta eat pizza,” Jade came back on the line before he could say anything to them.

“That’s okay, it’s fine,” he said, mostly for himself and not for Jade. He wasn’t even sure if she heard him.

“I was changing, and Tammy called me, and I got distracted!” he heard her yell away from her phone. “I’m sorry, I gotta go, bye,” she said quickly when she came back but didn’t give him any time to respond.

Despite the call ending, he kept his phone up to his ear another few seconds to collect himself before pulling it away from his ear and dropping it in his lap.

“That’s it?” Domingo asked, much louder than he’d been speaking while Nacho was on the phone.

“¿Qué pasa? What did she say?” Carlos prompted him.

“She’s gotta eat dinner,” Nacho took a steady breath in. He kept his eyes on the license plate of the car in front of them.

“So, what was she wearing?” Arturo asked behind him.

“Nothing,” he blurted out, not realizing that may have been a worse answer than “just panties.” He was still trying to jump-start his brain from the conversation he’d just had like he was turning the engine over, but it was just sputtering. Domingo kept shooing him, questioning glances from the road since they were moving again. The word “nothing” seemed to stall Carlos and Arturo for a moment as well.

“Ese, call her back,” Carlos told him quickly, taking up the mantle of the good wingman.

“She’s eating dinner,” Nacho responded, staring at the red car in front of them on the road.

“She fucked with your head, man. Call her back, or you’ll be like this again all night,” Arturo spoke up this time. Nacho immediately remembered what Arturo was talking about, but that was a simple text she never responded to. This was sudden and unexpected, though barely initiated, phone sex—

“I’m good. It’s good,” Nacho insisted, finally feeling like he could catch back up to reality. He’d be fine, it was fine. They had a date on Saturday, and he didn’t have to see Jade tomorrow. Everything was fine.

The guys arrived at 4’s Cabaret shortly later. As Domingo parked, Nacho could see Gonzo, No-Doze, and Blingy waiting outside with Joel. Carlos and Arturo got out of Domingo’s car first, and as the doors slammed shut, Nacho looked over to Domingo. His friend looked worried, and Nacho could only guess what kind of shit he’d be in if Bianca found out.

“She won’t find out,” Nacho stated, and Domingo met his gaze.

“Women got that sixth sense, they know when you fuck up,” Domingo shook his head.

“No,” Nacho disagreed as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “They can tell when you feel guilty,” he corrected.

“So, pretend not to feel guilty?” Domingo unbuckled his seatbelt before both of them stepped out of the car. “That’s easier said than done,” Domingo added, punctuating his sentence by closing the driver’s side door.

“Gets easier with practice,” Nacho reassured him, thinking about how long he’d been coming to the strip club on Tuco’s whim while he was with Carmen. She hadn’t expected anything until they were already over.

“You’re not worried about Joel telling Jade?” Domingo asked as they met at the trunk of the car and started walking towards the other guys. He spoke quietly as if he was trying to avoid Joel hearing him.

Instead of adopting Domingo’s tone, Nacho instead locked eyes with the kid and said loud enough for him to hear, “If he tells Jade, I’ll slit his throat.”

Joel had done an excellent job of getting rid of his shy, timid nature since starting to deal for Domingo. If Nacho hadn’t seen the kid vomit all over himself from fear the first time they met, he’d think Joel had always been some tough motherfucker. At that moment, with his statement, he saw that timid teenager briefly surface. “And your girlfriend isn’t going to say anything either. Right, Joel?” Nacho asked the taller guy.

“Uh, right,” he quickly nodded in submission. “No, we’re cool.”

“Good. C’mon,” he nodded towards the strip club’s entrance, and the group headed in that direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mi Cielo — a pet name, meaning “my sky” or “my heaven”.
> 
> “Hijo de puta” - Motherfucker
> 
> “¿Qué pasa?” - What’s up?
> 
> “¿Qué chingado” - What the fuck?
> 
> So, did anyone see _that_ coming? Despite the very obvious lie, Nacho told, I hope you all enjoyed this update. It was fun to write 😁I've got one more update for this fic before I post Chapter 27 of And Saints, and we'll finally get an idea fo what the hell Nacho was doing in Santa Fe. Give me a day or two to edit it and it'll be up before Chapter 27.
> 
> As always, thanks for the comments and love on the last chapter. Stay safe ❤


	10. I Could Fall In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nacho gets a phone call from his ex, Carmen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credit to Selena's song "I Could Fall In Love." It is the companion chapter to Chapter Twenty Three of And Saints, told from Nacho's perspective.
> 
> This chapter is estimated at five novel pages and, according to Grammarly, should take about 9 minutes to read.
> 
> Spoiler warning for Better Call Saul, up to Season 2 Episode 4, "Gloves Off."
> 
> There is no Spanish in this chapter 😊.
> 
> This is the companion chapter to number 23 of And Saints. If you haven't read up to that point, then spoiler alert: Nacho and Jade go on a date 😋.

Nacho had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his phone ringing from where he left it in his bedroom. He already had a towel around his waist and made his way quickly to his bed, where his phone was lying next to his clothes, thinking that maybe Jade was calling him. He hadn’t seen or spoke to her since that Thursday, not counting their text messages.

Quickly, he picked up his phone, but Nacho sighed when he saw the name on the screen. Jade wasn’t calling him; instead, it was Carmen. She’d stopped trying to call him every day after she had barged into his father’s shop, demanding that he speak with her. Nacho knew, though, that Carlos had taken care of Alberto’s issue. Apparently, some punk kids stiffed the guy a couple grand. Instead of calling Carmen about it or calling Al directly, Nacho had found out in a round-about way. He’d told Carlos and Carlos ended up calling Al, and he took it upon himself to help the guy out, along with Arturo and Blingy.

“What?” Nacho answered his phone with a sigh. He didn’t sound as harsh as he thought he would.

“Huh,” Carmen huffed at the way he answered. “At least I got you on the line.”

“Your brother’s problem was taken care of,” Nacho told her as he sat next to his clothes on his bed. He’d just gotten out of the shower but had just under an hour before he had to pick up Jade for their date.

“I know—”

“Why are you calling, Carmen?” Nacho asked her, rubbing at his face.

“If you’d give me a second to explain. I’m shocked you even answered,” Carmen scoffed. Nacho wanted to snap back at her and say something along the lines of not having time for her bullshit. Instead, he bit his tongue and waited.

“Letty’s not doing good,” Carmen told him after a moment as if testing his patience.

“What do you mean she’s not doing good?” Nacho asked, thinking about how pregnant Al’s wife was several months ago when he had driven up to Santa Fe to get marijuana for Jade.

“She’s not feeling good,” Carmen sighed, and it was as if her guarded attitude left with her exhale. “I don’t know, Nacho. I took her to a checkup on Friday last week, and her blood pressure was sky high.”

“Thanks for letting me know?” Nacho wasn’t sure if Carmen had a point or not.

“Look, I know you’re busy tonight. I just thought—”

“You know I’m busy?” Nacho asked, realizing that her statement was off. Carmen made it sound like she knew he was going on a date that night with Jade.

“Yeah, with your— fucking what’ s-her-name. That girl,” Carmen told him, and Nacho glanced to his clothes next to him on the bed.

“Who told you?” he asked, not bothering to remind Carmen of Jade’s name.

“Bianca,” Carmen gave him a brief answer, and Nacho realized he should have figured as much. The second Domingo found out, Bianca knew. Lizzy and Emilio had stopped by his father’s upholstery shop on Friday when Jade was out with a goddamn marijuana cupcake for her that Nacho still had in his fridge.

“Where are you taking her?” Carmen asked breaking the silence. It brought Nacho's attention back to their phone call.

“Are you calling me about Letty or my girlfriend?” Nacho asked her, making sure she could tell he was irritated.

“I’m… I don’t know,” Carmen sighed. She’d completely lost her hard, defensive bitch tone as if she knew Nacho couldn’t just write her off that easily when she softened.

“I really don’t have time to talk right now,” Nacho tried, before standing up and pulling the bath towel off his waist.

“I’m just worried about Letty, okay?” Carmen relented, “I didn’t even think you’d answer me.”

“Why didn’t you call… uh,” Nacho started while trying to pull his briefs up with one hand. He honestly couldn’t remember her new guy’s name and felt like he was pulling the same stunt Carmen had by forgetting Jade’s name. “That chilango?”

“Robbie?” Carmen scoffed. “He’s old news. He was always flaky, anyway.”

“Your new guy then,” Nacho said, finally getting his underwear up his hips and everything in its place.

“Funny,” Carmen called his bluff. “No new guy, I’m too busy with Al’s bullshit and his wife pretending she’s not dying.”

“Letty’s that bad?” Nacho stopped with his slacks in his left hand.

“I don’t know, Nacho. She had no trouble with Mia or Christian, so she thinks this is some fluke. You know how she is,” Carmen explained.

“Yeah, I know how she is,” Nacho agreed before bending over to step into his slacks.

“Are you seriously getting dressed right now?” Carmen asked, and Nacho stood back up, pulling his pants up to his waist.

“Am I that loud about it?” he asked, wedging his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could button and zip his slacks.

“After dating you five years, I can tell when you’re getting dressed on the phone,” Carmen explained, and Nacho almost laughed, but he stopped himself. He wouldn’t even let himself smile. “What are you wearing to the date?” she asked in Nacho’s silence.

“Clothes—”

“Don’t say clothes,” she tried cutting him off, but the word was already out of his mouth. “Fine. What clothes?” she asked instead.

“Why?” Nacho responded as he pulled his black tank top on over his head.

“Because I’m nosy and I want to know what you’re wearing to your first date. It helps distract me,” Carmen answered him honestly.

“How do you know it’s our first?” Nacho asked while silently wondering what the hell Domingo had been telling Bianca.

“Apparently, Domingo didn’t even know you two were together for real,” Carmen explained, as if she had read his mind. “Bianca said you two were pretty cozy at Emilio’s party back in August, though. What happened? Did she finally tell you to deal with your introversion?”

“Is that what you’re calling it now? Introversion?” Nacho asked, working around her question.

“It’s nicer than calling you a people hating douche bag.” Nacho did laugh that time. “I remember how big of a pain it was to get you to take me out anywhere. So, where are you taking her?”

“That’s a worse question than ‘what are you wearing?’,” Nacho stated. “I’m picking her up at eight, and you’re only an hour away.”

“You think I’d crash your first date?” Carmen asked him, and he could hear the smile on her voice. “Or are you just embarrassed? You aren’t taking her somewhere dumb, like that hot dog joint, right?”

“I’m taking my girlfriend to the Dog House for our first date, yeah,” Nacho answered sarcastically as he started pulling his button up on.

“Well, if she’s into it,” he could almost see Carmen shrug. Jade probably would be into going to the Dog House for a first date, lowlifes be damned. Hell, she’d probably walk away from the place with a dozen new best friends. Still, Carmen wouldn’t understand that.

“I’m taking her to the Forque Grill. That one restaurant downtown with the margaritas you liked,” Nacho stated in Jade’s defense.

“Mhm, and the good seafood. But there’s that tacky pool, right?”

“It’s next to a hotel.”

“Sure. So... a girl like her owns something nice enough to wear to that place?”

“She said she did,” Nacho started to button up his shirt. Halfway through, he gave up and wedged his phone between his head and shoulder so he could use both hands.

“Uh-huh. So, you didn’t buy her anything?”

“Carmen,” Nacho warned her with a sigh. He honestly would have. He’d thought about it, but Jade never seemed to care about his money, and he’d probably get her a dress she hated anyway.

“Fine,” she told him, changing her tone. “What are you wearing then? Not print?”

“Not print,” he answered, knowing she meant the design on his shirt.

“Good. If she wears print, you’d both look tacky. What shirt?”

“Really?” Nacho rose his eyebrow at her question. “It’s a red one.”

“You’ve got fifty red shirts,” she stated blandly.

“It’s the dark red one,” Nacho peeked into his closet. Though the only real colors he saw were white, black, and red, he wasn’t going to admit that Carmen was right.

“Dark red?” she asked, before laughing, “The burgundy one? The one you wore to my graduation?”

“I’ve had this shirt that long?” he looked down at it, figuring it must be three years old if they were talking about the same shirt.

“Unless you’ve bought more clothes since I moved out,” Carmen stated, and Nacho felt his jaw involuntarily clench. “You look good in that one, though. It’s a good choice.”

“Thanks,” he sighed before he started tucking the shirt and his tank top into his pants.

“Um, so… you’re probably off-limits for the rest of the night?” Carmen asked, and Nacho frowned.

“‘Off-limits’?”

“Unavailable,” she chose a different word.

“I’m unavailable now,” he told her.

“Yet, we’re still talking.”

“Don’t sound so proud,” Nacho finished tucking his shirt in before he started threading his belt through the belt loops on his slacks.

“We’re sustaining a conversation without trying to rip each other’s throats out. I’d say that’s a win,” Carmen admitted, and though he didn’t verbally agree, Nacho knew she was right. “What about tomorrow?”

“Why?” he asked in response.

“If Letty gets worse.”

“If Letty gets worse, call me. I’ll answer,” Nacho told Carmen honestly.

“Really? Even when you’re waist-deep in your new girlfriend?”

“If I am, my phone would be off,” Nacho stated before realizing his mistake.

“If?” Carmen realized as well. “What, are eighteen-year-olds prudes all of a sudden?”

“She’s nineteen,” Nacho didn’t answer as he grabbed a pair of socks out of his dresser. He walked to sit on his bed again after.

“You seem to like that age,” Carmen huffed. Nacho understood what she meant, he’d met her when she was nineteen.

“Careful, you’re starting to sound jealous,” Nacho stated as he pulled his socks onto his feet.

“Jealous?” Carmen forced a laugh. “Over that girl?”

“You two would probably be friends under different circumstances. You know, if you didn’t shove her when you came to the shop the other day,” Nacho stood back up when he had both socks on his feet.

“I barely touched her,” Carmen sighed. “She seriously complained about that?”

“You’d feel the same way if she pushed you out of the way,” Nacho explained as he walked back to his dresser to start putting his chains, bracelet, and watch on.

“She’d have a death wish if she did,” Carmen scoffed, and Nacho shook his head. “No, I don’t think we’d ever get along.”

“Your brother likes her. Named that new strain after her, I guess,” Nacho stated.

“What, Jade? He named that after some brat?” Carmen asked, and Nacho smiled at the word “brat.”

“Yeah. Al loved her at Emilio’s party. Knew her less than ten minutes when he made that decision.”

“Whatever, he’s not hard to impress,” Carmen sighed.

“Tuco took to her also. That was even less time, five minutes maybe,” Nacho sounded like he was bragging, half because he was. Befriending Tuco in a few minutes, was unheard of.

“Whatever.” The way Carmen responded told Nacho that she knew that fact as well, but was forcing herself to sound unimpressed. “If you’re picking your girl up at eight, I figure you’re leaving soon?” she changed the subject.

“Yeah, I was gonna leave in a few minutes,” he admitted before taking a breath. “Call me if Letty gets worse, though, alright?”

“Al and I might try talking her into a doctor visit tomorrow morning if she doesn’t start feeling better. I’ll try not to interrupt you and your girl.”

“Should I say thank you for that?” Nacho asked her as he shoved both of his feet into his boots.

“Please don’t,” Carmen sounded like she’d tasted something sour. “Uh, good luck, though? I guess?”

“I don’t think any more luck would help me now,” Nacho admitted.

“Patience then. It’s Saturday, and that bar the restaurant has always attracted idiots from the hotel.”

“I’ll take it,” Nacho left his bedroom after turning the light off. He made his way to the bar counter between his living room and kitchen where his wallet and keys were. “Tell Mia I said hi?”

“She’d like it better if you told her yourself? Maybe Monday? Are you back to a regular schedule at your dad’s shop, or are you still in and out?”

Carmen was asking if he was still focusing his time on work for the Cartel when she said that, but he didn’t let on with his answer. “I’m on a regular schedule. Tuesday might be better. My girl and I don’t work.” He’d prefer Carmen not to call him while he was at work or when he was around Jade at all. If he could hide it from Jade completely, he’d be happy. The less he had to explain, the better.

“Fine. I’ll call you Tuesday with an update then. Tell me how your date goes.”

“I doubt you’re honestly that interested,” Nacho pocketed his wallet and held his keys in his left hand.

“Just tell me how it goes. Later, Nacho,” she stated.

“Bye, Carmen,” Nacho stated and swallowed the odd lump in his throat when she hung up. Even after ten months, it still felt strange that she wasn’t in their apartment and that he had to tell her goodbye over the phone.

When he shoved his phone into his pocket, Nacho pushed all of those remaining feelings aside and made for his apartment door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... at this point should I just consider Jade an unreliable narrator? I know there'd be a lot more juicy content if I gave Nacho's POV during the actual date but... Carmen 😔 Also, I hope this gives some idea of what Nacho got up to in Santa Fe. We'll actually see him up there eventually, but I'm still drafting that and... I'm not sure when I'll get it out 😅. 
> 
> I should have Chapter 27 of And Saints up later today for those of you reading on August 2nd. Thank you for sticking with And Saints and this story ❤ You're all amazing.


End file.
